So, last weekend, Tom goes, "Hey, you remember Squirrel? He got arrested."
I think that is an understatement!!! His real name is Elbert Tillman Jr. and this appears to be how his holiday season went:

- He went with his wife back to her home town of Martinsville, IN.
- A domestic dispute ensued. (Hello? It's the holidays...)
- Squirrel flees the cops and returns to his home in Suffolk, VA.
- The cops are waiting to arrest him for domestic battery in front of a child & strangulation.
- While there, they search his property.
- They find a barn full of military-grade explosives.
I love this quote from his neighbor: “He seemed like a normal guy,” Bowyer said. “My guess is, these were probably just war trophies.” Nothing to worry about!!
(In Tom's defense, Squirrel owns a yacht repair company and that is why he ended up at Tom's party. They aren't buddies or anything.)
See the pillars of the community I get to rub elbows with down here? Bet you all want to visit now...
2 comments:
I appreciate the Mike Allen getting a shot-out. Mmm.... now I'm hungry.
Are you hungry for squirrels? I'm confused.
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