Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I meet cool people!

The night before I went back to Indiana for Christmas, I stopped by Tom's yacht for their Dock Christmas Party. As soon as I walked in, I was informed that I was in the company of another Hoosier whose name was something like Billy Bob. Not helping the state's image here... So, I ask Billy Bob where in Indiana he is from. Martinsville. Now, most people that know anything about Indiana INSTANTLY think of the KKK when they hear Martinsville, IN, but that's a whole other blog. Billy Bob was there at the party because Squirrel (a dude that Tom knows) was his brother-in-law.

So, last weekend, Tom goes, "Hey, you remember Squirrel? He got arrested."

I think that is an understatement!!! His real name is Elbert Tillman Jr. and this appears to be how his holiday season went:

  1. He went with his wife back to her home town of Martinsville, IN.
  2. A domestic dispute ensued. (Hello? It's the holidays...)
  3. Squirrel flees the cops and returns to his home in Suffolk, VA.
  4. The cops are waiting to arrest him for domestic battery in front of a child & strangulation.
  5. While there, they search his property.
  6. They find a barn full of military-grade explosives.

I love this quote from his neighbor: “He seemed like a normal guy,” Bowyer said. “My guess is, these were probably just war trophies.” Nothing to worry about!!

(In Tom's defense, Squirrel owns a yacht repair company and that is why he ended up at Tom's party. They aren't buddies or anything.)

See the pillars of the community I get to rub elbows with down here? Bet you all want to visit now...

2 comments:

Fubar said...

I appreciate the Mike Allen getting a shot-out. Mmm.... now I'm hungry.

Cletus Van Dam said...

Are you hungry for squirrels? I'm confused.