More Biggest Loser - The numbers...

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Reuter posed an interesting question this morning during our Biggest Loser chat on Gmail. How does Helen stack up compared to past Biggest Loser winners?

Since I am just stretching the last of my work out to last me through Friday, I decided to do a little research.

Turns out, Reuter was right. Helen is the Biggest Loser OF the Biggest Losers!

Way to go skeleton woman who sends her daughter home!

My name's Helen...

...and I sent my daughter home to struggle with her weight loss so that I could look like a skeleton and have a space between my thighs. Mother of the year doesn't pay out $250k!

My name's David...

...and I didn't learn crap on the Biggest Loser. AND, I selfishly and stupidly got my partner Daniel kicked off when he really needed to be there.

Biggest Loser Finale Review

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I have to start this out by saying: 3 HOURS?!? REALLY?!?


I mean, we all KNOW that they could fit their weekly 2 hour show into 1 hour if they just cut the fat. No pun intended. So, I'm sure they could have done the finale in 2 hours EASY! And watching it with no DVR... Ouch.


That being said, here is my rundown split up in "the good", "the bad" and "the ugly".


The Good
* Jerry & Estella both looked really great! Although, doesn't Jerry look older than 64?
* Ali looked really good! She definitely lost the baby weight. (According to Lee, she did not lost the baby boobs.)
* Jerry winning the at-home prize. What a sleeper! I totally did not see that coming.
* Nicole looked really great! Skinny, but with muscle. Impressive.
* Sione & Filipe's Tongan dance. I don't know why, but that cracks me up every time. I think it is the super serious looks they get on their face. And did you see Sione's watch almost fly off?
* Tara & Mike both looked really good. They looked healthy.


The Bad
* Helen's daughter Shanon still being a bit porky. Seriously, how did Helen let her go home so that SHE could stay on campus and get super skinny? Shanon had more weight to lose than Helen.
* David. I totally called this. He had lost like 40 lbs total. Which isn't much when you start out at close to 400 lbs.
* Damien's thighs. Wow. You can tell he lost a lot of weight, but somehow his thighs are still ginormous. That is so strange for a dude. Plus, he seemed to be confused and think he was Filipe with all his yelling.
* They kept showing Max, Mike's brother, Ron's son and he is still huge. I was kind of hoping for some progress out of him as well.
* NO PREVIEW FOR NEXT SEASON. BOO HISS!!!


The Ugly
* Daniel. He did really great, I must say. 140lbs is amazing. But, to have lost that much and still be over 300lbs. Wow.
* Kristin's hair. Jeepers! What is that bright glow on the stage?
* Joelle talking. Ever. Someone just cut out her voice box please. Does she ever make any sense?
* Bringing in those two girls from next season and having America vote for one of them. This was totally just unnecessary fluff. And kind of rude to the girls. Drag them up there and make them workout for America... And could anyone really tell them apart?
* Helen. She looked unhealthy. Her face looked gaunt. Her body looked rather skeleton-esque. For a 48-year old woman that is 5'6", 117lbs is just too skinny. She is the same height as I am, and I weighed more than that when I graduated from high school and I was still a twiggy 1/2 child. I guess she did what she had to win (Reuter's math was right on). But, I'm really hoping she left the live finale and went and ate a freakin' steak or something. Geesh.


The week of finales continues tonight with LOST! I am so SO sad to see LOST wrap up for the season. Love that show!!!

Woohoo!

TBL - Who you gonna vote for?

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Personally, I think this episode was kind of a lot of fluff. All the contestants went home for 30 days. Reuter thinks this is because they overlapped seasons and they had to wrap up the prior season finale. Either way, I think it was a little silly. Why go home for 30 days RIGHT before going home for good? If the 30 day break had been more in the middle, it might be a novel idea, but right before they go home for good?

Anyway, here is a breakdown of the episode:

1. They all return home. Did anyone else notice that either Ron & Mike actually had different limos or else the show tried hard to make it look like they did? Why would they take two different limos to the same place. Silly.
2. Everyone gets home to big celebrations. Speech speech, etc. Ron & Mike start trying to work on Mike's brother Max (who is bigger than Mike and younger!). Tara is nervous about hanging out with her friends and not drinking and gorging on 1/2 price bar appetizers (yum, wings). And did you notice, Helen's daughter is still looking pretty large? Way to go Helen. You're all skinny at the cost of your daughter's health. Mother of the year.
3. The contestants get a box on their porch again. No cookies this time. Darn. But, the DVD announces their challenge. To run a MARATHON this time. This just seems like a bad idea. A marathon takes much more time to train for than just 30 days! I won't go into it more than that, but Reuter has a lot more to say...
4. Jillian & Bob make visits to all of the contestants at their homes. This takes a lot longer for Jillian since she has 3 and Bob only has Ron left. (Good luck Bob.) But, fortunately, Helen, Mike & Ron all live near Detroit.
5. Jillian talks to Mike about letting go of his quest to "fix" his brother. Max has to want to do it himself.
6. Jillian talks to Tara & Helen about life balance. When Helen was talking about how busy her life was, I kind of was annoyed. She was like "I have my husband and my family..." Um, ok. Your kids are grown. Your husband just handled life without you for 17 weeks. What exactly is so taxing here? It's not like that one chick that went home to her 500 young children (on the yellow team). Jillian actually made both Tara & Helen have a drink. Helen looked like she was scared to death of her glass of wine. Little bit different than when they were on their spa getaway! And Tara, she just has the most addictive personality. From overeating, to overdoing it on the workouts. She just can't do anything in moderation. I guess it is good she got addicted to food and not crack.
7. Bob visited Ron and took Ron & Max to the gym. He gave Max a good workout. Then he helped him a little with his nutrition. He had Max go get a "normal" meal. He brought back a double cheeseburger, large fries and a milkshake. Yum! Good choice! Bob showed him what 600 calories of that would be. It still looked tasty. Max seemed to respond really well to Bob. It was good to see.
8. Time for the marathon. Each contestant was running for $10k to donate to the charity of their choice. Along the marathon route, there were people waiting to run with the contestants. First it was family members. Then it was past contestants. They had Bernie, Ali, Michelle, a couple others, and HEBA. Why did they have her? She is not even likeable! Mike had injured his hip training for the marathon, so he had to walk it. Just like his big poppa. (Although, he was walking much faster.)
9. Tara & Helen finished in pretty good time! Tara was under 5 hours! Mike was much slower because he was walking, but he still finished. Ron had a TON of trouble along the way. At one point they were taking his blood and making him eat stuff. I thought he was going to flat line. His hands were shaking like crazy! I expected him to throw in the towel like he did on the 1/2 marathon. But, Ron really impressed me and he pushed through. I think the fact that all of the former contestants were walking with him helped a lot. He was holding all the girls' hands. Mmmmhmmm. Ron was liking that.
10. Ron finally finishes and Mike is there crying. Then the brown team + Max stand there crying and hugging. They're a tearful bunch.
11. They all get their $10k checks. I kind of wish TBL had shown who they decided to donate the money too. I wanted to know!
12. At the weigh-in, the contestants put up some numbers that would be pretty good for them if it was a week. But, this was 30 days! Yes, it was 30 days at home, but still...
13. A total nightmare to team brown, Mike & Ron fall under the yellow line together. Just like last season when Heba fell under the line with her husband, Ron begs for America to vote for his son. Mike says to vote for either of them. Last season it was hilarious how everyone ignored Heba's husband and didn't vote for Heba. Haha! I don't think this time will be the same. Mike is much more likeable than Heba!

I already voted (for Mike). I want Tara to have some competition. VOTE HERE!

Oh, and apparently, Lee is a Tara-hater as well. Last night while she was on one of her rants about how she thought she couldn't do something but then she did, Lee was like "Everytime she starts talking, I get the urge to change the channel." Best quote of the night!

Can't wait for the finale next week! Lee doesn't think that anyone is going to end up "super buff" this season. I think he'll be surprised. Some people I really want to see:

* Daniel & David

* Joelle (I hope she's fat. That is so mean to say, but man she was the worst!)

* Kristin

* Nicole (the black chick that came back to the ranch momentarily)

TBL - Final Fo'

In the words of Jess: "HOW IN THE NAME OF SWEET JESUS DID RON MAKE IT TO THE FREAKING END??? Dear lord."

Definitely sums things up.

I thought this episode was a bit boring, really. It was a lot of the "celebrate how far we've come" kind of crap. Yeah, you used to be huge. That's why you're on the Biggest Loser. And you've lost a lot of weight. That's why you're STILL on the Biggest Loser.

Ok, crankiness aside:

* Bob saw right through Ron's BS about last week's vote. He knows Mike hardly ever comes up with his own ideas. Obviously Ron influenced him to take out Kristin.

* They watched a movie recap of their first week on the ranch. Then went through the workout they had done only faster, with more weight, MORE EXTREME. Ali also told them this was their last week on the ranch. They all seemed shocked. Yes, you go home. You haven't moved to the ranch.

* Tara & Helen decide to try on their "goal" outfits. Tara's is a little black dress. You can tell she bought this quite a few years ago. Helen's outfit looks like she is ready to hop on the back of a Harley. She did look pretty decent in it though. They go show the guys and Mike goes and puts on his "super slick" leather jacket. Isn't he in college now? Not 10 years ago?

* The contestants go to Dr. Creepy's office. All of them have gotten healthier. Duh.

* For the challenge, they had to run up 16 sand hills carrying the weight they had lost and dropping some of it on each hill. Tara followed her normal "formula". "Oh I can't do this... Hey I'm in a groove... I catch Filipe... I win. Oh my!" Tara gets her choice between 1lb and $10k. Whoever comes in 2nd gets whatever she doesn't take.

* For their last chance workout, they started out by "training the trainer". The only interesting part here was that I thought Jillian's boobs were going to flop out of her shirt.

* At the weigh-in, Tara takes the 1lb so Mike gets the $10k. I guess Tara doesn't need 2 more months of rent. ($10k = 2 months rent? NY sucks!)

* Everyone pulls amazing numbers at the weigh-in. You know, every week they say they give it their all, blah blah blah. But, when it is an important week like this, suddenly they all step it up about 5 notches. So, what are they doing the other weeks when they claim to be going all out?

* Ron & Filipe fall below the yellow line even with their HUGE weight loss.

* The power falls to Helen & Tara to decide between the two. In the end, they send Filipe packing. He complains about them voting him out because he is a bigger threat. Yeah yeah, that seems to be the trend. If you think it's bad here, you should flip the channel and check out Survivor this season! Wow!

Reuter has done some TBL math over on his blog. Basically, the writing on the HP-12C says that Mike has this thing in the bag.

Lee thought last night that Ron should have tried to go home. That way he could try to win the at-home prize and leave Mike to win the real prize. But, it looks like he knows he can't win the at-home prize so he is just trying to give Mike less competition in the final showdown. And I still can't believe that he is in the final four. Mind boggling!

Next week, we see how they handle the Final Four!

Tara-Hater

Yes, it is no secret... I do not like Tara.

I have been getting a lot of comments about my "Tara hating". Clint has mentioned it, Fubar, and Craig even said my Tara bashing was unbecoming of me. Yeah, well, I'd be unbecoming on me too if... Wait. What? I slipped into a pickup line there for a second.

Here are my top 5 reasons that Tara SUX.

5. Used to flirt with Dane & Blaine ~ This is what first made me not like Tara. She would always flirt with Dane & Blaine. She had a meltdown whe each of them went home and acted like her life was over. Keep your chubby hands to yourself Tara. These are married men with a bunch of kids.

4. Cocky ~ Yes, Tara has earned the right to be proud of her accomplishments. She has dominated the challenges like no one I've ever seen. But, it also gets rather old to watch her win. It is the same formula every week: 1) the "Oh, I can't win this challenge" whine; 2) the slow start; 3) the "Hey maybe I can do this" phase; 4) she wins and gloats. It would be one thing if she just started off each time acting like she had a shot at winning instead of acting like she didn't have a shot. And taking the $10k prize was another act of cockiness. Yes, she pulled it off, but in a game where that 1 pound could have saved someone else from falling under the yellow line, it just seems wrong to take the $10k.

3. Cries all the time ~ This really annoys me. It would be higher on the list, but I can't hold it only against Tara since so many of the contestants cry all the time. Had she not seen the show before coming on here? Did she not realize that it was a competition? That people would be sent home? That she might end up without her partner on the ranch? She cries because people view her as a target (hello, why wouldn't they?). She cries because everyone gives her extra weight in the challenge. She cries over losing her partner (who, half the time she complained about) (AND she was one of two teams left intact, everyone else had already lost their partner). I'm just not sure why she has so much to cry about. She is doing awesome. She is losing tons of weight. She is going to look really good at the finale. Why all the waterworks?

2. Almost quit like 10 times ~ I hate when Tara always throws in the towel. She does it in workouts. She does it when she feels like people are ganging up on her. She did it when Blaine or Dane went home (I still don't know which is which). She wanted to quit the game after everyone gave her weight in that car challenge and looked what happened... She won. It is such a glimpse into how she got fat in the first place.

1. Playing the victim ~ Tara acts like everything is a personal travesty. People gang up on her. People think she is a threat. They voted her gimp partner out. She never even thought "Man, poor Laura has a stress fracture," it was all "Poor me, I'm here alone now." JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT MIKE & RON.

I definitely take nothing away from Tara as being one of the strongest players the game has ever seen. I just can't take her personality. So, am I a Tara-hater? Yes I am. And I wear the title proudly.

TBL - Can I cheer for them all to lose?

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Reuter has a blog talking about the challenge on last night's show and the "drama" about the contestants' nutrition knowledge (or lack thereof). Check it out.

As usual, I missed the first part of TBL, so going from Lee's recap, all I missed was:

Tara crying

Kristin crying

Oh darn. He said that Tara was crying and blaming Jillian because she told Mike to vote Laura off. Tara was upset that she was vulnerable without a partner. Ok, so the truth comes out. It's not that you give a rats ass about your partner. You just care about yourself. And, um, newsflash Tara, look around. There is only one team intact on the ranch. She loves to play the victim.

A woman from Good Housekeeping came to the ranch and gave contestants a quiz about nutrition. Mike & Kristin ended up tying. Mike won the tie-breaker by guessing the calories of a fast food fish sandwich within FIVE calories. That is good! This sparked Bob to realize that his team might not know enough about nutrition, so he forced them to do a video food diary for a day. It was pretty appalling. (See Reuter's rant.) They did not eat nearly enough for the workouts that they are doing on the ranch. The worst part, in my opinion, is for dinner they had one piece of fish that was like 7.5 oz. They split that for THREE people. Um, I would totally eat that myself. Bob was FLIPPING OUT.

The challenge was for $10k or a 1-lb advantage at the weigh-in. (See Reuter's blog again!) They had to hang in a cage type thing where they were holding a rope that supported their weight. They were all freaking out about the heights. Seriously, come on. TBL isn't going to let you die. That would be horrible for their insurance. You know you're all wrapped up and supported. After watching so many seasons of TBL, it seems that a strange number of fat people are scared of heights. Is there a correlation? Is it a "bigger-you-are, harder-you-fall" mentality? At any rate, Mike dropped out right away because of his fear of heights. Filipe was shaking the crane holding them up and pissing all the girls off. It came down to Helen and Tara. Helen was trying to bribe Tara into splitting the money. Tara said she wasn't playing for the money... Helen ended up losing and surprise surprise Tara wins again. Vomit.

During the last chance workout, Jillian tried to have a "break through" moment with Mike about his pent up anger. She made him talk to his dad. He confronted Ron about being ginormous and allowing his sons to do the same thing. Ron fully took the blame. We did discover the mystery of the skinny wife. No, it isn't that Ron used to be skinny. It isn't that he has money. It is that his skinny wife used to be fat herself. What I don't understand is how she made the life change to get thin (and she is really thin) without trying to make a difference in the way the rest of her family was eating.

Weigh-in time. At the beginning of the weigh-in, Tara announces that she is taking the money instead of the pound. People are pretty surprised. This totally goes against what she said to Helen during the challenge. I secretly hope that it puts her under the yellow line. Unfortunately, it doesn't. She loses 5lbs. Ron goes below 300lbs for the first time since his early teens. Wow. It is amazing that he is close to 300lbs and this is SKINNY for him. Towards the end of the weigh-in, it looked like it might be Filipe and Helen under the yellow line. Unfortunately, Kristin GAINED a pound (nutrition, hello?) putting herself below the yellow line for the 2nd week in a row. And this week, she isn't going against a gimp.

Kristin pulled Ron aside to ask if she had his vote. He had made a promise to her mom long ago that he would do whatever he could to help Kristin get to the finale. Ron promised his vote and said that he would talk to Mike on her behalf. Well, he did. But, he basically told Mike that Kristin was his biggest competition and he should vote her off. Very two-faced. Not surprising at all, though, for Ron.

So, Kristin got voted out. After that happened, Ron said something along the lines of "My son WILL WIN." Then Mike basically echoed it. It sounded SO cocky and you could just SEE the other players wanting to vomit.

Kristin was shown at home 2 months later giving a speech. She had only lost 7 more lbs since leaving the ranch. She really needs to get on the ball if she wants to win the at-home Biggest Loser! Better yet, a treadmill.

Now, with Kristin gone and Mike getting all cocky, I have NO idea who to cheer for. Helen sent her daughter home. Plus, she just doesn't have a chance. She weighs too little. Filipe is annoying. Tara makes me want to punch her regularly and Ron... Well, you've heard my rants about Ron! I guess my only option is to ignore the actual competition and just focus on the at-home competition. Grrr!

TBL - MAKEOVERS!

I have to say, I was a little disappointed in the makeovers this year. I guess it was because Helen, Tara & Laura already looked decent. And with dudes, the changes just aren't all that monumental. But, I proceed...

I miss the first 15 minutes of TBL each week now because of no DVR. I don't get home from work until 7:15, so I rush in and Lee has it on and gives me an update. Last night I got home halfway through the challenge. Lee said that Sione had left Filipe some motivating note and Filipe was kicking butt in the challenge. Good for him to get out of Sione's shadow, even if he is annoying. But, then Tara ended up coming back to beat him. Come on! It's getting old watching her win. Oh yeah, I guess they won a $25k kitchen makevoer.

Then the announced that it was makeover week and the contestants went crazy. Not as exciting for us since we already knew it was makeover week.

They bought new clothes at Macy's with the help of Tim Gunn from Project Runway. I've never watched Project Runway, so I had no idea who he was... Everyone got a $1k giftcard to Macy's. I want that... Then they got their hair & makeup done. They were told that they were going to a movie premiere, but in reality, they got to meet up with their loved ones and then watch a recap of their time on the ranch so far.

My reviews of the contestants' makeovers:
Kristin - Meh. She is still a really big girl. Does she look a lot better? Yes. Does she still have a ways to go? Definitely.
Helen - Helen takes pretty good care of herself as it is, so the makeover wasn't all that earth shattering.
Tara - See above. Also, I think they tried to jam her in a dress that was a little too tight...
Laura - See above.
Filipe - His hair looked good!
Ron - He looked better without the beard. They could have taken some more hair off his head. I wish they had done a makeover on his stomach skin.
Mike - Mike was by far the most dramatic makeover in my opinion. He looked GOOD. If I were 18 and liked former fatties, I'd be all about it.

One thing Lee & I keep wondering... How is Ron's wife so attractive? Originally we thought maybe he used to be skinny. Nope. He said he weighed 200 lbs at age 9!!! Money? Maybe he really is in the mob? I can't figure it out.

Laura ended up at the doctor because of her hip. Turns out she has a stress fracture. Ouch. I'm sure it is very painful, but they went a bit overboard and had guys carrying her around so she wouldn't put weight on it. Have you ever heard of crutches?

At the weigh-in, Mike broke a new record for most weight lost on the ranch. Nice work!

It wasn't too great of a week for people, but it ended up being Kristin and Laura under the yellow line. (Laura gained 3 lbs.)

The only thing tough about this decision is, do you take out the threat? Or send home the gimp? I would send home the gimp. I mean, what is she going to do on campus? When she needs to be carried around? Retarded. Tara threw a big boo-hoo-fest about it. For once, I totally agreed with Ron though. He was like "Laura needs to go home and get this injury taken care of." Tara played the vicitim, as usual. "Oh, everyone gangs up on me. Wah."

In the end, I think they did the right thing and sent Laura home. She got the rehab that she needed and hadn't gained any weight back, which is great.

Next week: Mike confronts his dad about being a big fat fatty and making him & his brother that way. Stay tuned!

TBL - it's getting interesting...

So, the theme of this show was that Ron is running this game. Like some sort of godfather. Seriously? How is Ron running this game? He is a sub-par player. He's 54 years old... There is nothing about this guy that should intimidate other players. Yet, here everyone is like "Oh, you don't want to cross Ron." Whatever. These people are stupid. So, we all know that last week Sione & Filipe voted against Ron (awesome). Well, Ron is pissed!

The temptation this week was hilarious. There were a ton of silver trays setup in the gym. Some of them had high-calorie treats in them (yum, my mouth was watering). Others had cash and gum. Just one had the "golden ticket". No, no trip to the chocolate factory. This ticket meant that you get the ONE & ONLY vote at this week's elimination. The contestants wanted that golden ticket BAD! I forget what the total was, but the contestants ended up eating like 20,000 calories. Ouch. In the end, Laura found the ticket. Tara & Laura celebrated by almost making out in their room.

Bob & Jillian were PISSED to say the least. They decided to whoop their asses in the gym. This is the opposite of what I would do. If I were their trainer, I'd let their calories screw them over on the scale. Maybe that would make them think twice... But, I guess that's why I'm not a trainer.

Laura was expecting everyone to kiss her butt all week. But, other than Kristen who brought her breakfast in bed. No one did a thing.

At the challenge, the contestants had to run the steps of the Rose Bowl stadium. First the girls went against the girls and the guys against the guys. Then the winner of the girls went against the winner of the guys. As usual it came down to Sione and Tara. What a shocker. Tara won and gets a 2 week trip for 4 to a fitness spa.

Laura kept trying to get Tara to fall below the yellow line so that whoever she fell under the line with would automatically go home. I thought that sounded like a dangerous plan. I mean, what if Laura fell below the line with Tara. And why not let TWO non-team members fall below the line so you could just take your pick of who you wanted to vote out.

At one point, Ron talks to Bob about his issues with Sione & Filipe. Bob acted like it was crazy that Sione & Filipe would go up against Ron. He said something along the lines of "You've fallen below the yellow line more than anyone." That just means everyone views him as a non-threat. I still don't get it.

At the weigh-in, it is Sione & Helen that fall under the yellow line. And now, all of the sudden, Laura doesn't want her golden ticket. Ok, everyone ate thousands of calories and now she is crying about having the golden ticket. She's an idiot. At the elimination, she calls Sione a brother and Helen a mother. So, who wins out in the end? Finally, a good decision. She votes out Sione, who is clearly the biggest threat (other than Tara) in the house.

Sione says his goal at the finale is to be a Tongan Brad Pitt. I'm not even sure what that would look like.

And the previews for next week... MAKEOVERS!! WOOHOO! I love that episode every season!

TBL - kind of a pointless one...

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Last night's episode ended up being totally useless, since they brought back a previously eliminated player, then eliminated them. Ugh! Couldn't we have just skipped this week? But, here are some quick highlights:

* Alison had her baby! And then was back at the end of the show. What a trooper! I know her job isn't exactly taxing, but still...
* Estella (the old chick), Nicole (the black chick) and David (the fat lazy dude) all had the chance to come back. Estella & Nicole looked amazing. David looked pretty much the same. Dude. How has this NOT been a wake up call for you?
* Nicole won her way back onto the ranch by losing 87 lbs in 12 weeks. Wowee! That put her in 2nd place for the biggest percentage lost thus far... Right behind Tara. AND, Nicole had immunity at the next weigh-in... As long as she didn't GAIN any weight during the week.
* The contestants were scared. Especially Tara. She would NOT shut the F up. Everytime she was around Nicole, she just babbled about how much she needed the competition to push her and blah blah blah. It was really an ugly side of Tara to see. And we've seen a few ugly sides of Tara. It was like she was trying to convince HERSELF that she was happy to have Nicole back and was failing miserably.
* Filipe was all whiney because Ron & Mike THOUGHT about voting for him the previous week. They didn't actually do it, but the fact that they even considered it made him go off his rocker. Filipe is really annoying me. At this point, he may have even passed Ron by on my $hit-list. When they are whining about this to Bob, Bob is kind of like "Oh well." You're still here Filipe, what are you complaining about?
* Speaking of Ron, he ended up in the hospital. I never fully understood what was wrong, but I'm guessing it has something to do with being huge... He ended up getting some extra blood and saline solution pumped into him which is NOT good for weight loss.
* At the weigh-in, Nicole ends up GAINING 5 POUNDS. Thus, her immunity is gone. I see the writing on the wall. She's going home. She has nothing going for her... She is a threat, she hasn't been on campus to make friends, etc. Plus, you should have seen the smile on that biatch Tara's face. No mental attitude award for her!
* Laura and Ron both end up gaining weight as well. It is Ron that falls under the yellow line with Nicole.
* Ron plays his normal Ron-card: "I'm asking you to save me..." Seriously? This isn't played out yet?
* At the vote, Filipe & Sione surprise me by quickly severing their ties and voting for Ron. Ron & Mike are pissed! Filipe & Sione don't mess around. You *think* about voting me off. I vote for you the next week.
* In the end, Nicole ended up going home. Shortest return to the ranch ever. I'm sure when she was headed home with her ginormous suitcase she was thinking, what a flippin' waste of a week. But, at least she has obviously lost a ton of weight on her own and she is clearly in the running for at-home Biggest Loser.

Here is my ranking of contestants from least to most annoying:
1-3. Tie between Mike, Kristen & Sione
4. Helen
5. Laura
6. Ron
7. Filipe
8. Tara

I am looking forward to the fact that Filipe & Ron are against each other. Since I don't like both of them, hopefully that means that one of them will soon smite the other soon. I can only hope.

And hey, when are they going to have a dang makeover??? Mike needs a haircut like crazy!

TBL - Lauren is impressed by players she doesn't like

At the beginning of this show, to no one's surprise, the game went into "singles". I knew this was right around the corner because:
1. The blue team was so inferior to the black team, it was just sad.
2. Due to #1, the blue team was almost extinct.
3. Filipe & Sione were already refusing to work with Jillian, so the teams were all screwed up.

The players got to pick their own trainer. Most weren't too surprising:
Bob - Filipe, Sione, Kristen, Ron & Aubrey
Jillian - Tara, Laura, Mike & Helen
Probably the biggest surprise was that Mike didn't go back with his father. I think Mike prefers being around the ladies, personally. There was quite a bit of boo-hoo-ing during the choices. I don't know what they're whining about. At least they get the choice of who to work with. And despite the contestants' co-dependent outlook, I'm guessing the trainers didn't go home and cry over the people that didn't pick them.


There was a 2-part challenge for immunity. In the first part, everyone got to take the amount of weight that they had lost so far and put it on someone else. As guessed, Tara was a HUGE target and ended up with 257lbs of weight. For some weird reason, Helen ended up with the 2nd most weight. She doesn't seem like a big threat at all, so I guess people just don't like her? This should have been taken as a HUGE compliment on Tara's part. She is a huge threat, she has lost the biggest percentage of weight so far, she is always winning challenges... But, for some reason she takes it as a reason to cry and want to quit. Um, ok. I'm winning this game, but I think I'm going to give up? This mental instability is why you got fat in the first place. Shockingly, Laura is able to talk some sense into her.


For the second part of the challenge, they took the weight that each person had been given and added it to a car. Each contestant had to pull the car + the extra weight (+ a driver which no one mentioned) for a 1/2 mile. Sione started out fast with Mike in 2nd place. Tara got a burst of competitive juices and ended up coming back to beat them all, even pulling more weight than anyone. (Are you sure Sione's driver wasn't riding the break?) I am not a big Tara fan, but I was impressed with that move. She won immunity and basically put it back in everyone's faces that gave her weight. Then she got to do a victory lap and some donuts with Nascar driver Clint Funk... I mean Clint Bowyer. It looked REALLY fun!

At the weigh-in, both Kristen & Tara had the chance to be the first women to ever lose 100lbs on campus. Both fell short of this goal last week. Tara needed to lose 4 lbs, but only lost 3... So, Kristen stepped up and lost 8, beating the 100 lb mark. In a huge surprise, Ron lost another 10 lbs. Two 10 lb weeks in a row? Who is that guy? I am almost starting to consider him a contestant... Ron couldn't enjoy his 10 lb weight loss though because it almost pushed Mike under the yellow line. It ended up being Aubrey & Filipe under the yellow line. I wonder who Filipe can blame now? He has had 3 weeks of bad weigh-ins now. (Or was it 2?) Either way, he was blaming it on Jillian, but now that he is back with his man-crush Bob, I'm not sure who he can point fingers at.

I kind of thought it was a no-brainer to vote Filipe out. He is much more of a danger than Aubrey. She is smaller and just not that great. But, as usual this season, the contestants voted with their hearts instead of their heads and sent Aubrey home.

Back at home, Aubrey hoped to get down to 125 lbs by the finale. Again with the pretty unrealistic goals. Aubrey is about my height, and let's just say 125 is a weight I haven't seen since the freshman 15. And to start things off on the right foot back home, Aubrey goes ahead and packs on 9lbs. Wrong direction dumbass! I'm going on record right now to say that if Aubrey weighs 125 at the finale, I will give up cookies for a month.

TBL - Who says you can't go home?

On this week's Biggest Loser, the contestants got to go home for the week. I was excited as this usually makes for an entertaining weigh-in at the end of the week... Usually they just can't keep their hands out of the cookie jar while they are home!

And speaking of cookie jars, this time they had an at-home challenge. The contestants had to run a 1/2 marathon and the winner would get $10k. I know they have been working out really hard, but they haven't been specifically training for a 1/2 marathon, so this should be tough. As a twist, each contestant also got a tin full of cookies. For each cookie they ate they could add 5 minutes onto someone's time. 5 minutes could be pretty huge! Surprisingly, only Helen & Aubrey succombed to the cookies. Helen ate a cookie against Tara and Aubrey ate against Helen (I'm not sure what she was thinking here... Maybe that a lot of other people would go against Tara & Sione??? Aubrey is not really a thinker.)

All of the players did really well... Except Ron, of course. Sione & Tara, as expected, did awesome. Until the end when Sione had a muscle tighten up on him with just 200 yards left. Ouch. He finally got himself across the finish line.

As usual at home, everyone around these people are eating fatty foods and taking them out to eat. All the contestants really did pretty well this season though... Sadly. Come on people. Following your diet doesn't make for good tv!

Aubrey took the opportunity to talk to her ENORMOUS father about dieting and losing some of his 500lb girth. He kept saying that he had already started a diet. Then she brought up his breakfast that was, like, every fattening breakfast food scrambled together in a vat of grease. Sounds delicious.

The contestants all said their farewells and headed back to the ranch. They announced the results of the 1/2 marathon. Sione would have had the fastest time by a lot if it weren't for his pulled muscle. So, Tara ended up with the best time... BUT, Helen ate a cookie against her so Sione ended up winning. Tara was not pleased with Helen! All of their times were pretty impressive though. Oh, except for Ron who only finished like 2 miles and said "I had no intentions of finishing the 1/2 marathon." WHY ARE YOU HERE?

On to the weigh-in. Nothing super shocking except that Ron somehow lost 10lbs. Um, I think this is even more evidence that he should go the F home. Kristen gained 1lb proving that she is NOT ready to go home at all. Surprise surprise, the blue team loses the weigh-in. And unfortunately, freakin' Ron has immunity.

Cathy stepped up and asked to be eliminated. Ron had immunity and she didn't want Kristen or Aubrey going home. This is what Ron should have done weeks ago. Stepped up and took one for the team and jumped on the grenade. So, Cathy went home. Adios Cathy.

TBL - Contestants Gone Wild!

Reuter did a good summary of last night's episode. So, I won't focus too much on the parts he covered. Basically, the black team was dominating because the blue team sucks at life, so TBL had to try and shake things up a bit. They did a challenge and the prize was 24 hours of luxury. Of course, the black team won...

And then they went wild!

Reuter thinks that they deserved a break and to let off steam. I think that they went a bit overboard. I mean, this is TBL, not The Real World! I probably would have opted for a good dinner and maybe a couple drinks, a massage & a mani/pedi... But, I wouldn't have gone overboard and I would have made sure to get a workout or two in. These guys went crazy. I mean, a HUGE meal, then a ton of booze and some fried bar food after the huge meal? Not to mention some smoking... Wow. I knew Jillian was going to go off. A few seasons ago she flipped out because one contestant had a glass of wine!

Jillian did go overboard. But, she always does, so that was really no surprise. However, I was surprised when she didn't work out Filipe. That was just weird.

To mix things up TBL also had the contestants weigh-in against each other. This turned out to bite the blue team in the butt too. I mean, as if they needed more against them. Both teams lost 18 lbs and the blue team weighed less to begin with, so they would have won without the one-on-one weigh-in crap. Oh well...

So, the blue team is headed back to the elimination room. Big shocker there. Even with the black team going on a bender, they still can't beat them. And why? Well, they were the weaker team to begin with... But, then they voted off their best player... And they have kept the worst player in the game, Ron, around. Stupid! So, as soon as they lose the weigh-in, Lee & I both are like "OK, there is a mother/daughter team, a team of 2 sisters and Ron. Ron is going home."

They get into the room and Ron goes "Ok, it's Mandi's turn to go home." WHAT?!? Who died and made you a useful team player? So, no one even mentions voting Ron out as they sit there and decide whether Aubrey or Mandi would go home. Do they not realize that they are going to be in the elimination room every week until Ron gets the F off the team?

In the end, there is yet another stupid vote and Mandi goes home. And Ron stays another freaking week.

Dumbest team ever!

Oh yeah, and in the end, Mandi says that she hopes to be a size 2 by the finale. A 2?!? That is really really tiny. Are you planning to lose all the weight and some of your actual hip bones? She really should have opted for a more realistic size like a 6. But, I mean, if Dane/Blaine can run a marathon in 3:50... Maybe she can do it.

TBL sucks a fatty

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In the words of Fubar (via text): "Biggest Loser, are you kidding me?!"

I am not even going to dignify last night's Biggest Loser with a recap. I'm pissed. Last week was one thing... We had a show with no weigh-in or elimination, BUT, we had a 2nd show the following night. This week, there is just no excuse. To not even have a COMPLETE weigh-in is total BS. Talk about trying to stretch their footage out an extra week. LAME!

I only have this to say about the episode: Laura is annoying.

That is all until next week when they damn well better have a FULL episode.

Scandal hits TBL

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Here is an article about Dane's questionable completion of a marathon.

(This is for you Ahow.)

Don't get me wrong, running 23 miles is still great. But, I don't know why TBL would feel the need to knock 2 hours off his time, etc. I'm plenty impressed with just running a marathon! I sure as heck couldn't do it!

Last week's Loser (A double shot)

Last week TBL was split into Tues & Wed show. I wasn't a real big fan of that because Lee has class on Wed and LOST is on, so then TBL gets pushed back to Thursday... And my Thursdays are very full for tv already.

The Tues Show
This show was a bit useless. I mean, there wasn't even a weigh-in. Come on. So, in order to keep some excitement, they decided to switch up the teams. I was seriously confused on their method the entire time it was happening. Basically, the winner of the challenge got to stay with their partner AND stay with their trainer. Everyone in the middle was up to the toss of a coin. Then the loser automatically had to switch trainers. Sounds easy enough, but things kind of got jacked up when it was actually happening. Tara & Sione were neck & neck through the whole challenge, but Sione just lost it at the end. So, green team got to stay with Jillian. The blue team went with the flip of a coin and were forced to go to Jillian's team. Basically, Jillian's team ended up being STACKED with the green team, the blue team, + Mike & Helen. Bob's team was the purple team, the yellow team, + Ron & Dane.

And the boo-hoo-ing begins. Bob's former team totally acted like the world was ending. And actually, Bob did too. That pretty much took up the rest of the show.

Ok, they did have a blue vs. black challenge at the end. They had a stationary bike and the challenge lasted 24 hours. Basically, whichever team put the most miles on the bike won. Seriously, the black team has SUCH an advantage, it isn't even funny. A lot of the players whined about it, but when you think about it, you ride the bike for a 1/2 hour, then you have 2.5 hours to rest. So, in the 24 hours, you ride for 4 hours and rest for 20. I know that the rest is split up, and that is not ideal, but still. The yellow team was especially whiny and wanted both teams to stop riding. What a shock, they're never cry-babies. Oh wait, they always are. In the end, (as expected), the black team won. They won bikes and a 3lb advantage at the weigh-in... ON WED SHOW.

The Wed Show
The show starts out with a "pop quiz" challenge about aging with some annoying chick from Prevention magazine. The winning team wins a trip to FL. Now, this is a challenge where the blue team SHOULD have a chance. But they lose anyway.

The players are finally whining a little less about the trainer switch-up and realizing that both trainers are pretty competent. If I were on TBL, I would want Bob as a trainer, but I know that I would still lose a ton of weight if I were working out with Jillian.

On to the weigh-in. The blue team lost 54 lbs with a total 3.24%. This included Dane hitting the 100lb weight-loss amount in the fastest amount of time in show history. Black team lost a total of 57 lbs with a total of 3.65%. No surprise there.

So, the blue team heads off to decide who to vote off. Now, have I mentioned that Ron is useless? As Reuter said this weekend, he is all denominator. He weighs a ton, and due to his injuries (which used to be just his knees, but now his shoulder has been added to the list?) he is not losing weight. I thought this was a NO-BRAINER. But, apparently the blue team has no brain because they kept useless Ron and voted off Dane. Their best player. Morons! Yes, there IS a point in the game where you want to take out the threats, but this is not the time. You still need the strong people or else your team is going to be in the elimination room EVERY WEEK. Stupid. I am losing more & more respect for Ron. I mean, instead of saying "Hey, I suck, I don't want to hold you back," he pointed Dane out and said that Dane could do it at home and Ron couldn't. Well, that's true, but Ron, you're not doing it on campus either. So, what's the point.

Sorry for that rant.

The good news is, they showed Dane at home and he completed a marathon with his skinny wife. However, the show claimed that he did the marathon in under 4 hours... Which seemed REALLY fast to me... I just looked online, and apparently everyone is all atwitter about it. I think the show fudged the time.

Let's watch this week to see if the blue team continues to suck at life.

TBL - sans cookies & ice cream

Last night I watched the Biggest Loser without partaking in any sweets. The scale wasn't kind to me last week at the doctor (thank goodness it isn't the TBL scale), so I am avoiding being a future contestant on TBL by cutting back on the sweets now. That being said....

My Recap:
1. They started off the episode by locking up the gym. They put a butt-load of keys up at the top of the hill and the contestants had to go up the hill, get a key, and come back and try the key in the lock. Only two teams were going to be able to use the gym all week. Tara ran herself until she puked, and then ran some more. I do respect her drive, but her personality still annoys me. The pink team took their time and ended up getting a key. The brown team somehow managed to get the other key, even with Ron gimping up and down the hill.
2. Tara was having mental breakdown after mental breakdown this week. Basically she was pouting because her boyfriend went home... To his WIFE and KIDS... Boohoo... She was also pouting about not being in the gym, etc. Suck it up buttercup.
3. The pink team takes advantage of having the gym with just the brown team and turns Jillian's side into a lounge. She also puts up a "Members Only" sign on the door. Does this mean Barry can come in with his Members Only jacket?? I know I liked the pink team last week, but they are rather annoying this week. I am fickle. Or TBL edits the show to change your opinion and it totally works on me.
4. I think that part of Bob's team having the gym and part of them NOT having the gym was really a disadvantage to the whole team since Bob's time was split between the two groups.
5. The contestants have a spontaneous mud wrestling match outside in the sprinklers... I'm sure there is a mean spirited joke here about pigs in mud... I won't go there.
6. In the immunity challenge, everyone had to get on a rowing machine and had to maintain a certain speed. If one partner rowed too slow, they were both out. Dane ended up beating out Laura & Tara for immunity. Then Laura cried for letting down her partner. Those two need some freaking anti-depressants.
7. At the weigh-in, the pink team ended up at the bottom with only the brown team to weigh-in. I had a feeling the pink team was going to lose because they spent more time gloating about having the gym than actually using it. Also, what I said in #4. Sure enough, the brown team pulled off some great numbers (for them) and one of the pinks was going home.
8. Oddly, Helen & Shanon asked the other players to send Shanon home. In most cases, the parent is willing to go home so that their kid can have the best chance... Not here, apparently. I'm not sure if they REALLY wanted Shanon to go home or if they were saying that and hoping that the players would do the opposite... Who knows. Either way, the opponents listened and Shanon went buh-bye.

My favorites after this week:
Blue team & Purple team

Ok, so my prediction was wrong.

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Last week I predicted that the brown team would fall under the yellow line again. I was wrong. But, I still maintain that they are not long for this game! (Watch them make it to the final two now, just to make me look like a moron.)

My Recap:
1. They did a challenge where they had to stand on one foot. Whoever held it the longest won their loved one coming to visit for 24 hours. They all thought it was going to be easy. Are you serious? That is tiring. And I am not nearly as fat as you. Imagine all their mammoth weights on one foot. A few people fell, but most of them ended up letting Mandi win since she apparently whined enough. I don't have a ton of sympathy for people that are away from their spouse for 6 weeks while they're at fat camp. I guess I'm still unimpressed from doing an 8 month deployment (ok, I didn't do it, I sat at home while Lee did it), and I know that even WE were lucky since the Marines are stuck over there for 15 months!

2. Jillian was PISSED that Mandi won the visit. She knew it would screw Mandi up in the head and mess up her weight loss.

3. At the challenge, the teams had to hold a bar up over their heads. Whoever dropped the bar last won immunity. Like the one leg challenge, I thought this was tough. It sounds easy, but they did it for like 3 hours. Imagine how asleep your arms would be... And how every drop of blood would pour out of your arms. Blech. It came down to the green team and the purple team. They were also complaining about how cold it was. Lee started ripping on them since they were in Cali. Then they said it was 38 degrees out... Oh, that is pretty cold.

4. The purple team ended up winning! I was happy for that. The green team kind of annoys me. Laura is a cry-baby and Tara is loud and I feel like she is always hitting on the dudes. The married dudes...

5. Mandi's husband comes to visit. He is very country. Then as a surprise, her two sons are there too. One of them was named Remington. Lee kept saying "Her husband has to be a hunter." As Jillian predicted, Mandi spent the entire 24 hours with her family instead of working out. She also boo-hoo'd so much. She really needs to keep her head in the game. I mean, if she lets their visit screw things up too much, she'll end up on the plane with them on the way home!

6. At the weigh-in, Blaine & Dane fall below the yellow line. At this weigh-in, just one team falls below and one of the two partners gets voted off. I don't mind the black team, but their names are too similar and confusing, so I'm kind of excited one of them is going home.

7. Blaine talks to the other players and asks them to send him home and let Dane stay. He wants to be with his new baby and he thinks he can lose the weight at home easier than Dane. Everyone starts debating this. The contestants on Bob's team want to send Dane home as payback for when Jillian's team sent Damien home unstead of moron-Joelle. I totally think Bob's team should do that. Payback's a bitch. Tara sobs and slobbers and says they have no heart. Blah blah, she's just mad because the black team is her #1 source of dudes to flirt with.

8. In the end, they respect Blaine's request and vote him out. Pussies. At the vote, Tara totally professes her love to Blaine. What is his wife thinking watching this at home?

So, here is an update on who Lauren likes and who Lauren doesn't like:

Likes:
The blue team, Sione & Filipe
The pink team, Heather & Shannon
The purple team, Kristen & Cathy

Dislikes:
THE GREEN TEAM, LAURA & TARA
The yellow team, Mandi & Aubrey
The brown team, Mike & Ron

So so:
Dane (I'm just glad I know which one he is now that Blaine is gone.)