The Nursing Blog

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So, this is going to be a post about nursing, so feel free to skip it if that weirds you out. I mean, boobs are fine, but boobs and babies? Eek!

Today I got rid of my Medela Pump-In-Style amidst many mixed feelings. If you had told me that I would feel like this 6 months ago, I never would have believed you.

Before Taryn was born, I spent a lot of time worrying about nursing. My mom kept telling me not to worry. It's natural, it will work out. And for Taryn and I, it did just that. From the first day in the hospital, it was like she knew what she was doing and she was training me.

That is not to say it was always a smooth ride. The beginning was extremely hard. All the mothers around me would say "Oh, you nurse for 15 minutes on each side and then you're good to go for 3 hours." Those. Are. Lies. Taryn wanted to eat all the time. I thought my boobs were going to fall off my chest. There was also just the stress of someone being THAT dependent on you. In the beginning I couldn't even run to the grocery store without having to rush home because Taryn was hungry.

My initial goal was to nurse for 3 months. I was determined to make it that long. Then my secondary goal was to make it 6 months. There were days (and especially nights) where I was ready to throw in the towel. With a vengeance. I remember quite a few moments of "GET OUT THE FREAKING FORMULA, I'M DONE." And the fact that I started grad school when she was 4 weeks old definitely threw in another speed bump for us.

But, then, it got easy. So easy. And then it was so convenient. We could go anywhere without needing to take bottles or formula or worry where we would warm a bottle. The mothers around me were suddenly right! 15 minutes here, 15 there and we're done! And the pounds just flew off my body as an added bonus. My three month goal came and went. Then my 6 month goal arrived. Things were still going so well, I wasn't ready to stop.

Taryn was such a good nurser and it was so easy that I became afraid that she wouldn't let me stop. I started to fear that I would be that mom still nursing her kid before kindergarten. Ok, that was an exaggeration. But, I was worried that it would be a struggle to stop.

Then, she got busy. And nosy. And she always wanted to be upside down and looking at the tv. And she started eating solid foods. The boob lost its allure. I started having to keep her attention and hold her down to get through a feeding in a timely manner.

And then she started biting me.

And suddenly I was ready to be done. And fortunately Taryn was too. The transition was so easy. She likes the bottles because she can look around and they are faster so she can get back to her busy baby day. But, there are still moments when I miss it. One of those times is definitely when we have to buy formula. Ouch. That stuff is pricey. But I also miss being able to comfort my baby in that way. And it also means that my little girl is growing up, which makes my eyes water a bit too. Nursing was also something that was special because only I could do it.

The hardest thing I found about breastfeeding... Other people. People act so strange about it. Most people have been breastfed and/or have breastfed their own kids (or their wife has breastfed their kids). It's not like it is weird! Not to mention, it's been going on as long as humans have lived. Yet people act like it is so taboo. I mean, I'm definitely not a fan of the people that whip out a boob at the dinner table at a restaurant, but you wouldn't believe how many people can't even say the word. My uncle asked how long I "had to feed Taryn LIKE THAT."

Anyway, this post was something I just needed to get off my chest (pun intended) so I could remember everything. Sentimental times like these, I actually feel like there will be a time in the somewhat near future I'll be ready to go on this wild ride again. Give me a good solid year of sleeping through the night, and I'll probably be back on the baby bandwagon. But, we'll have to see about that one.