Walking a mile in Fubar's Shoes

Fubar is known for a lot of things. Bonging champagne, invincibility, and his love of Britney Spears (former love?). But, something else he is known for is his Bachelor reviews.

On Monday Kathryn and I were watching the Bachelor. We decided to walk a mile in Fubar's shoes and keep a log of the girls we liked and disliked. I have to give Fubar credit, it is a lot harder than it looks! Just as you are writing down that one girl has big teeth, another one is talking about arm wrestling. Whoa, overload. So, in the order that we met them, here is my summary of Matt, the Bachelor, and the girls.

Matt - Matt is British. The first Brit Bachelor, and he wants to meet American girls. Kathryn said that Brits think American girls are easy. Correlation?? I am undecided as to whether I am attracted to Matt or not. He had some very steamy rugby pics that almost had me convinced. But, accents only confuse me and he kind of has bags under his eyes. He does seem to have a good sense of humor, though, and he sounded really sweet when he was talking about his family. Kathryn, on the other hand, is smitten. She has earned the nickname "the 26th bachelorette".

(**Girls in this color got a rose**)

Amanda R. - As she walked up she had her hands behind back. She's kind of awkward but endearing. Collarbone = yuck. Kept getting HICCUPS!! Somehow she got the first impression rose later in the evening. Matt and I clearly don't have the same taste.

Amy - BAD DRESS. Did a spin and stuck out her hand for Matt to kiss. Then she made HIM spin around and commented on his "bum". Is this seriously your first impression? Later, though, when Stacey passed out (see below), she made a pretty funny comment about Stacey's mouth & legs finally being shut. Good one!!

Devon - Long face.

Christine - 32 years old. Looks oldish. Kept saying "thanks".

Chelsea - Self-proclaimed arm wrestling champ. After Matt arm wrestled her, he had a good line: "I only arm wrestle women. Pregnant women." (It was funnier with a Brit accent.)

Erin H. - Giggly. Had goth-ish hair. Already mentioned getting a wedding ring on her finger. Whoa! Slow down! I'm a married woman and you're making me scared of committment!

Kelly - Cute.

Rebecca - Kathryn happened to pause the show at this time and Rebecca had the scariest face/neck thing going on. It looked painful, really, and crazy scary. Then she said "You are from England." Really? He didn't know that.

Denise - Big teeth and is big into politics. Was an aide for Bush.

Erin S. - Kind of has a manly voice and her profession is a hot dog vendor. I bet she had a heck of a time getting her work put on hold so she could go on the show.

Robin - Meh.

Ashlee - With two E's. Just like on the How I Met Your Mother we just watched! Should have skipped the part where she blew him a kiss. She's cute though. Looks pretty young.

Alyssa - Cute and seems confident.

Michelle P. - Bright red hair... Kathryn and I both wonder if the carpet matches the drapes.

Shayne - PUKE. Later in the evening she blatently fished for compliments by asking Matt if he liked her dress. It would have been awesome if he had said NO.

Marshana - She was sporting some weird African princess garb that she made herself. She is also the Miss Earth New York. Whatever that means. Totally the token black chick that he'll keep around for a couple rounds.

Amanda P. - Looks like she is 12.

Tamara - High pitched voice, cocktail waittress.

Holly - Looks like a Barbie doll. Suprisingly good conversation though.

Tiffany - "You look sharp..." What are you? My grandma?

Carri - She had a weird chest. "You're English, OK." He went for a peck on the cheek and she looked like she went for tongue.

Stacey - Right away, I called SLUT! I also said she had DSL. (Hopefully you people know what that means. If not, Google it.) She even had a huge tramp stamp tattoo that her low-back dress showed off. Later in the show, she got totally bombed. She had this glorious line: "I have my bachelors in nutrition. And nothing and no one will ever stop me. I want to find a pharmaceutical that will cure something that no one has thought of." Wow. Sounds like one of Ahow's drunk voicemails!! Later on in the evening Matt was talking to Stacey and another girl and Stacey kept rubbing his leg. AWKWARD. Then, he walked away and she went over and slipped him her underwear. WHOA! Fortunately, she passed out soon after that. All class!

Lesley - Weird shaped mouth.

Michelle R. - No, not Michelle Reuter! This girl had a mouse voice.

Noelle - Nice rack and dimples. Not annoying.

My top 5 favorite girls
Kelly
Alyssa
Holly**
Carri
Noelle
** Kathryn had the same list, except Robin instead of Holly.


Matt managed to pick 4 out of my top 5, so I'm pretty happy about that. He didn't pick Alyssa though. Not sure what he was thinking there.


Looks like it will be a good series!!