The Bachelorette & the Men Tell All

Since we only have 2 episodes left, I decided to do this one running diary style. This is going by DVR time, not real time. In case you care.

Men Tell All
8:00pm - They introduce all the dudes that are there. Why is Jeremy there? Did I miss an episode? Isn't he still in it. Crap. Nope, I wrote this a week ago. I'm so confused!

8:01pm - Graham gets a ton of applause. All those chicks think they can change him into a sweet guy. YOU CAN'T!!

8:07pm - Darby steps on my keyboard. --> ,.21,.w11

8:15pm - They show a video of Jeremy getting eliminated. MOTHER F-ER, I JUST REALIZED THAT THE MEN TELL ALL IS AFTER THE REAL EPISODE. F***. Well, there goes the suspense.

The actual episode
7:00pm - I'm so frustrated.

7:01pm - Have you noticed that Jason always puts his hand under her chin when he kisses her? Yeah, that's cute & sweet every now and then, but every time?

7:03pm - Blah blah, Graham this, Graham that. He's an a-hole!

7:04pm - It's time for Jeremy... Dude, I know you go home. I'm so pissed at myself for starting the wrong episode first. This is like the time I was watching Tivo'd Survivor and went online and accidentally saw who was voted off. I'm an idiot.

7:05pm - Jeremy goes "That was fun..." Followed by an insanely uncomfortable silence. DeAnna finally had to tell him not to be so serious.

7:07pm - Do you think DeAnna has people help her get ready? Jeremy keeps laughing like a weirdo. This is awkward. I think I could have seen him getting kicked out even if I hadn't screwed up.

7:09pm - It's the overnight invitation to stay "as a couple". Jeremy answers "Should we go down?" Um, Freudian slip much?

7:10pm - They're making out. It seems to be going pretty well now... Hmm...

7:13pm - Jason comes running to meet DeAnna. Seriously running. He looks like kind of a dork. He is still my fave though.

7:15pm - They go "off-roading" on a road...

7:17pm - Now they are kayaking. Wow, they suck at kayaking.

7:22pm - Jason seems to always have that perfect amount of stubble on his face. How does he do that??

7:23pm - Jason takes the topic off of his son Ty and puts it on DeAnna and says that she & Ty are the two most important people in the world to him. Wow. Good move Jason... Good move.

7:25pm - Jason gets 1/2 way through the "you can share a room" card and tosses it aside and says "Yeah, let's go!" Someone is enthusiastic!

7:27pm - Jason has another killer line about DeAnna teaching him that he could fall in love again. He is good. Jesse better do something super impressive because I think Jason has this wrapped up.

7:30pm - DeAnna talks about how she didn't kiss Jesse until the hometown date. She is basically implying that he needs to put out a little more, I think.

7:31pm - Jesse comes running up to her. Has he been taking notes from Jason?

7:32pm - Jesse attempts a kiss while they are horseback riding in the ocean. It doesn't work. A minute later he pulls it off.

7:34pm - They makeout in the water on the rocks on the beach... Get a room! Oh yeah, they might later on.

7:39pm - I'm still just not a fan of Jesse's hair.

7:40pm - Jesse asks when DeAnna wants to have kids. They both decide on before they are 30. DeAnna and Jesse are both 26, so that works out well.

7:42pm - Jesse talks about "shredding" and his dream to be a sports agent. Ok, really?

7:43pm - DeAnna just wants to go get busy in the fantasy suite. Jesse says "Not until I meet your dad." DeAnna looks like she is going to fall out of her chair. Jesse starts laughing and says let's go. I haven't been paying attention, have the suites all been different? Because if not, that's creepy. Yeah, I think they're different.

7:50pm - DeAnna talks about how she has 3 guys now and she is about to send 1 home and then she'll have 2. Good job! You can subtract!

7:51pm - She mentions Jeremy being "perfect" again. Yeah, perfect like a statue!

7:52pm - DeAnna says "My heart is breaking right now." TAKE A DRINK! (If you're playing the Bachelorette drinking game I made up last week.)

7:52pm - Jeremy looks shocked when she chooses Jason. I totally saw it coming. I feel bad for him though.

7:55pm - Jeremy says this is potentially one of the worst days of his life. This is coming from a guy who has lost both his parents. You've known this girl for like 2 months. And she has been dating many other guys the whole time. Really?

7:57pm - DeAnna is holding hands with Jason & Jesse at the same time. It looks like they're about to play ring around the rosie. This is awkward.

7:58pm - Jeremy makes the limo driver stop so he can walk around. Is he going to puke? I know how that feels. You don't even have time for the driver to stop and get a cheeseburger. You just have to get out of the car.

Next week DeAnna takes Jesse & Jason home to meet her family!!!

Men Tell All (Ok, back to this...)
8:16pm - Jeremy says he might get sweaty palms and run off stage when DeAnna comes on. That would be a first!!

8:21pm - Graham gets called up to the "hot seat". More hoots and hollers. Girls love jerks.

8:22pm - They show a clip of Ellen Dgeneres saying that Graham is scared to death. Graham looks like he despises Ellen. "Damn you Ellen!"

8:25pm - Yup, he just confirmed it. He hates Ellen.

8:31pm - DeAnna is on the scene.

8:33pm - DeAnna explains what happened with Jeremy. Then there is an awkward silence. I want to fast forward. I'm uncomfortable.

8:34pm - DeAnna zings Graham. Haha. Those two just can't get along.

8:36pm - We find out that Paul took a bubble bath in DeAnna's bathtub while she was out. That's a little weird!

8:42pm - They show a clip of DeAnna. "My heart is breaking right now." "This is breaking my heart." TWO DRINKS! I bet you could do a whole clip show of her saying things like that.

8:44pm - The virgin football player goes off on DeAnna. He is such a weirdo.

8:45pm - Some clips. In one, DeAnna's horse takes off. Hilarious! A few of DeAnna struggling with grammar.

8:46pm - They show the barber being annoying. And the weird dude that tore off his shirt and howled.

8:47pm - DeAnna announces that she IS engaged... Oooh!

8:48pm - They allow crazy howling dude to tear off his shirt and howl them into the commercial break. Some women in the audience look impressed. Some look scared. Some are doing what I would and laughing their a$$es off.

8:52pm - They show a clip where DeAnna tells Jesse she doesn't usually fall for guys "like him". That's not a compliment!

8:56pm - They show some clips of Jason and his chin hold kisses.

The finale is next week! Can't wait!! I'm predicting Jason, but we all know he's been my favorite all along. Whoa, they show that BOTH guys come to her parents' house at the same time. That's weird... And they both get down on their knee to propose. Are you serious? That is just torture.

8:59pm - Fred (from Chicago) gets asked out by a girl in the audience. And he says yes. Wow!

The end! I'm going to bed. (No, it's not 9pm.)