Lauren viaja a Mexico!!!

Tomorrow Lee and I leave for our honeymoon in Riviera Maya. Yes, we have been married almost a year and a half, but we never got our honeymoon (thanks to the Navy). We were finally able to schedule a week, soooooooooooo...

This is where we will be staying.

I can't wait!! I am looking forward to warm weather, lots of drinks, and NO WORK!!

Peace!

My Favorite Priests

With the looming season of Lent, I got to thinking about the past year... My first year as a Catholic. With all of the criticism surrounding the Catholic Priesthood lately, I have been amazed at the great priests that I have met. It is sad that a few bad apples has spoiled the name of some really great people.
1. Father Jim Barnett ~ St. Thomas Aquinas, West Lafayette, IN

Father Jim is the priest that married us. Which means we met with him MANY times in the 6 months before our wedding. Father Jim is an incredibly accepting and sweet person. He is also a cancer survivor. Some of my favorite Fr. Jim moments:
- When he described Lee as "laid back, almost to a fault". Haha!
- When Lee accidentally answered yes to the question "I am nervous about being naked in front of my future spouse," and then again on "I am concerned about what my future spouse may ask me to do sexually." Fr. Jim was really trying to dig into what might be a big problem, and Lee and I were just dying laughing!
- On a more serious note, Fr. Jim was the priest that inspired my Grandpa to go to confession and start attending church again. He also visited my Grandpa a couple times while he was in the hospital with melanoma. I know that he brought my Grandpa some joy in the last year of his life.
2. Father Thomas Aschenbrener ~ St. Alphonsus, Chicago, IL

Father Aschenbrener was one of two priests at the church I got baptized in last Easter. He was young and had a knack for being able to relate to the neighborhood parishioners (who were mostly my age). My favorite Fr. Ashchenbrener memories:
- When he related something in his homily to an episode of the Simpsons. Now you are speaking my language!
- In another homily he was talking about road rage. He said that every now and then he will get mad while driving and flip someone off. He said, "Hopefully I am not wearing the collar when I do that." The image of getting flipped off in traffic by a priest still makes me laugh...

3. Father Brian Rafferty ~ Christ the King Catholic Church, Norfolk, VA

When Lee and I moved down here, we tried out a few different churches. What made us become members at Christ the King was almost 100% Fr. Brian. (The comfortable kneelers and the fact that it is right by our favorite diner helped too.) Fr. Brian has a great sense of humor. He has also done a lot of different things in his life. He was in the Navy, he went to graduate school, he was engaged to be married... Fr. Brian also once had a homily where everyone in the church laughed out loud a couple different times, and then cried (it was dusty in there) at the end. Now that is an impressive homily! My favorite Fr. Brian moments:
- While talking about how many parents wanted to send their teenage kids on an upcoming mission trip to western Virginia, Fr. Brian reminded the parents apologetically "This is not a one-way trip, your teenagers will be coming back."
- He was talking about his parents' marriage and how they could communicate without talking. He then said "My fiance asked me if I thought we would be that way someday... APPARENTLY NOT."

This week at church, Fr. Brian was out of town, so Fr. Mike Hanna filled in for him. I would describe this priest to be Lewis Black if he were a priest. Hard to imagine, I know. He was extremely sarcastic and at the end of mass he said "Ok, lets get out of here."

There have been a few priests that make my LEAST favorite list. I don't remember their names, but here is why:
- Fr. Spitter ~ This priest talked to our "Day of Discovery" group for pre-Cana. As you can guess, he couldn't keep the saliva in his mouth. He also ranted on about how the song "Here Comes the Bride" really means "Here comes the whore".
- Fr. Fish ~ When we were looking for a Norfolk church, we tried 3 different churches in about as many weeks. Somehow, we kept running into this SAME priest that I didn't like. From his name, you can guess, he looked like a fish. Specifically a bass ------> Fr. Fish likes to get on some serious rants about abortion and other topics that no one wants to be greeted with on Sunday morning.

I can only hope that we have as good of luck with priests when we move back to Indiana!!

Happy Anniversary to the Reuter's!!!

January, 27 2007
HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY

ANDY & MICHELLE!!
1st anniversary of at least 50!!!

Lent 2008

So, I have been trying to decide what to give up for Lent this year. Last year I gave up beer, which was EXTREMELY challenging and probably the dumbest thing I've ever done in my entire life. My thinking was: I don't really like hard liquor, and I am cheap, so I won't drink as much. The reality of it was that I ended up getting SUPER DRUNK off hard liquor because I didn't know my tolerance.

Anyway, Lent begins on Ash Wednesday, February 6th, and ends Easter Sunday, March 23rd. I need to decide what I should give up, so I am starting a poll. Right now, my possibilities are:

• Swearing - I would put aside $1 to put in the needy basket at church for every time I swore.
• Red meat - No burgers, steak, pepperoni... Yum. I'm hungry.
• MySpace/Facebook - Phew! My work would probably love this one!

If anyone has any other ideas for me, please leave a comment.

Obama is not a Muslim people!

First off, I want to say that I am NOT an Obama supporter. I'm not yet sure who I will vote for in 2008 or even which party I will vote for. Nor do I know who I want on the ballot. However, I am SO sick of getting these prejudice emails about Obama. I am guessing that most of you have seen a forward like the one below:

"We all do know he is from the country of which the Bible tells us the Anti-Christ will rise from. So think about this, and pray a lot.Who is Barack Obama?" Um, Obama is from the US. "We checked this out on "snopes.com". It is factual. Check for yourself." You clearly didn't check this out on Snopes.com or else you would know this is crap. "Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black MUSLIM from Nyangoma-Kogel , Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white ATHIEST from Wichita, Kansas." His mom wasn't even an Atheist. She just didn't go to church. I believe Agnostic is more the term. "Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim." That is because he isn't. "He is quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school."" He never was a Muslim OR a Catholic. "ALSO, keep in mind that when he was sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead the Koran." This is actually a different politician, Keith Ellison.

For some reason these emails just get me so fired up and annoyed. First off because of the utter lack of research these people clearly do. They get a forward, get all jacked up on fear and forward it on. If this is how you do your research on who to vote for, your voting rights should be revoked.

They also point out that his middle name is Hussein. "Oh no, that must mean that he will be just like Saddam Hussein. Eek!" Well, my husband's name is Lee, does that mean he is going to be like Lee Harvey Oswald? NO!

Ok, I am done ranting.

Kiefer Sutherland Out of Jail!!

After 48 looooong days in prison, Kiefer Sutherland is out of jail.

Don't worry though, it wasn't nearly as bad as when he was stuck in a Chinese prison being tortured and brainwashed.

He really should have just called in a favor from President Wayne Palmer (if he is out of his coma, that is).

Life immitates movies?

And here I thought Snakes on a Plane was a ridiculous movie. I guess not!

Suspect shoots self in genitals

What a great headline!

My grandma sent me this article from her hometown of Kokomo. This is what happens when your standard Village Pantry holdup goes awry.

My favorite part was this:

Upon arrival officers learned that a black male entered the store brandishing a semi-automatic handgun and demanded cash from the female clerk. The suspect provided the clerk with a white cloth bag to place the cash into and while she was doing so he also demanded Newport cigarettes. As the clerk turned to retrieve the cigarettes, she heard a gun shot and turned around to confront the suspect, who yelled out that he’d shot himself, Kirk said.

I love that the black male robber then demanded some Newports. Is this a Chappelle show skit??

17 more days

And as of Friday night, er, Saturday morning at 2am, I am ALL CAUGHT UP!

Some pros of watching it "live":

• Don't have to worry about accientally seeing a preview on tv and knowing who doesn't die
• I can talk to people about it without having to explain what point I'm at
• The excitement

And some cons:

• Um, commercials
• Waiting a week between episodes

Colts... Bummer.

So, the Colts just didn't want it bad enough yesterday. It was a disappointing game. Especially since Lee slept through the whole 2nd half. I had to go through that emotional rollercoaster alone! He woke up a few times to me yelling cuss words, but that was about it. They had two chances to win there at the end and they just pissed it down their leg. On to next season. I'm over it.

Now, I am just cheering for whoever plays the Patriots. If you haven't noticed, I am NOT a big fan.

Summary:

The LC

Today for lunch I had the Lauren Coleman. For those of you who don't know, the Lauren Coleman is pretty much the best meal combination ever. It is a Cheesy Gordita Crunch and a hard taco from Taco Bell. It was amazing!

If you are a little MORE hungry, feel free to try the Mike Allen. This will require more than one stop though. The Mike Allen is made up of a Cheesy Gordita Crunch, a double cheeseburger from McDonald's, and a large Mountain Dew from Dunkin' Donuts.

I meet cool people!

The night before I went back to Indiana for Christmas, I stopped by Tom's yacht for their Dock Christmas Party. As soon as I walked in, I was informed that I was in the company of another Hoosier whose name was something like Billy Bob. Not helping the state's image here... So, I ask Billy Bob where in Indiana he is from. Martinsville. Now, most people that know anything about Indiana INSTANTLY think of the KKK when they hear Martinsville, IN, but that's a whole other blog. Billy Bob was there at the party because Squirrel (a dude that Tom knows) was his brother-in-law.

So, last weekend, Tom goes, "Hey, you remember Squirrel? He got arrested."

I think that is an understatement!!! His real name is Elbert Tillman Jr. and this appears to be how his holiday season went:

1. He went with his wife back to her home town of Martinsville, IN.
2. A domestic dispute ensued. (Hello? It's the holidays...)
3. Squirrel flees the cops and returns to his home in Suffolk, VA.
4. The cops are waiting to arrest him for domestic battery in front of a child & strangulation.
5. While there, they search his property.
6. They find a barn full of military-grade explosives.

I love this quote from his neighbor: “He seemed like a normal guy,” Bowyer said. “My guess is, these were probably just war trophies.” Nothing to worry about!!

(In Tom's defense, Squirrel owns a yacht repair company and that is why he ended up at Tom's party. They aren't buddies or anything.)

See the pillars of the community I get to rub elbows with down here? Bet you all want to visit now...

Tom Brady... A big FU.

It's no secret that I am NOT a Tom Brady fan. His commercials annoy me, he plays for the Patriots, my least favorite NFL team (don't get me started on Belichick and his cut-off sweatshirts), and in general I think he's pretty douchey. Especially when I see pics like this: Another thing that bugs me is when the announcers just WON'T shut up about him. Just go give him a BJ at halftime, but shut up about him now. Yes, he's good. Yes, he's having an amazing, historic, record breaking season. But, there are STILL other players on the field. Brady isn't out there throwing passes to himself while blocking. Can I please hear some other players mentioned?

While watching the Patriots final regular season game, they started talking about how Brady was picked in the 6th round of the NFL draft. They even put up a picture of him with his shirt off from then. Talk about lack of muscle tone!! You think I might respect the guy for fighting from fourth string QB to the star he is today... But I don't. I'm just happy he used to be a pasty white dork that couldn't dream of knocking up chicks like Bridget Moynahan or dating Gisele Bundchen. THIS IS WHAT I WILL ALWAYS SEE WHEN I LOOK AT HIM. No matter how many Super Bowl rings he is wearing or hot chicks he dates, I'll always see this picture.

(The one time I HAVE enjoyed Tom Brady was in this SNL skit. What a classic.)

Peek-a-boo! I SEE YOU!

Here is a pic of Lee's ship, the Anzio (the ship on the left) going past our apartment and heading out to sea.

Bon voyage, see you in a few days!!

This is one of the rare times that I can see Lee's "office" from my office!!

Most likely to have a sex tape...

On the list of people I would EXPECT to have a sex tape, I didn't see this one coming. (No pun intended.)

Amy Fisher, aka the Long Island Lolita and her husband. Can't see this one being a big seller... Maybe I'm wrong.

Hola 2008!!

Here is my best estimate of how NYE went:

3:30pm - Jamie & Lee have their first beers. I am still working. Bastards.
6:30pm - We head across the street to the Tacqueria for some dinner.
8pm - We get home and crack open the champagne.
8:05pm - Jay & Cayci say that they are grabbing a bite to eat and will be over after that. I predict it will take them 2 hours.
8:15pm - Back to beer. Champagne is too sweet!
8:30pm - Barngrover arrives in a cab. Apparently six tenths of a mile is just too far to walk.
9:30pm - Jay & Cayci call to say they are picking up Tom and then they will be over. My 2 hour prediction appears to be right on the money!
10pm - Everyone has finally arrived! Off to Greenie's, all 7 of us crammed in Cayci's Jeep Liberty!
10:15pm - Why isn't the band playing? We find a seat on the porch next to the Hell's Angels dude. Yup, welcome to Greenie's!

11pm - Jamie & I discover the band is playing! Yay! Dancing time!
11:30pm - Jay & Cayci decide to go home. WTF?
11:57pm - Jamie finds a "cool" dude. We see her across the bar commenting on his tattoos. ("Is that a mermaid?" "Yes, it is my ideal woman as a mermaid with purple hair.")
11:58pm - Jamie introduces us to the dude. I swear he said his name was Rory. Jamie thinks it was Matt. So confused!
12am - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

12:05am - Text everyone on eastern time and wish them a happy new year!
12:20am - Lee is ready to go home.
12:45am - We have convinced him to stay and nap on a barstool.
1am - Jamie & Rory exchange some New Year saliva.
1:10am - Text the Chicago crew to tell them happy new year!
1:15am - Some big girl gets pissed at me for trying to reach around her boyfriend to get my beer. Don't get between me & my beer, lady. Jamie tells me not to start anything with her because she is huge and could probably kill us both.
1:20am - JAMIE starts arguing with the scary girl. Oh boy. I'm going to have to help her.
1:25am - Scary Girl's boyfriend makes her leave. Crisis averted. I won't have to explain my black eye on Monday at work.
1:45am - Jamie & Rory are necking again.
2am - The bar lights come on... Stupid Virginia and their early closing times!
2:10am - We start our walk home. It is an excrutiating eight tenths of a mile.
2:25am - Lee heads upstairs to bed. Tom & Barngrover call a cab. Jamie wants to go out on the beach.

2:30am - Tom, B-grover, Jamie & I head out to the beach with some beers. Pictures, cartwheels, and Jamie rolling around in the sand ensue. I'm still finding sand all over our apartment from her!!

If it is true that how you ring in the new year is how you will spend the new year, I am in for a drunk, sandy year!!

Happy 2008 TO ALL!