A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila

I heard about this show when it was first starting. (Probably from Fubar.) Anyway, I don't really watch MTV, so I didn't check it out. Last night, however, I was flipping through the channels and I came across it and started watching. I do see how you can get roped into it fast. Lesbians (some girlie some butch), bi-sexuals, and weird dudes. Plus, everyone just making out. Very strange.

Lee ruined the whole show for me though when he said "In the end she isn't going to be happy with any of them because she doesn't know what the hell she wants."

Hmm... Makes me wonder if this is an issue with all bi-sexuals. If you can't even narrow down your ideal mate to a certain gender, what chance do you have at narrowing it down to one person??

Update from Cletus Van Dam: Tila called closet straight

Ready, Set, Don't Go Duet by Billy Ray Cyrus ft. Miley Cyrus

This is what I mentioned in an earlier blog.

Turkey Day Wrap-up

Here was the run down of our Thanksgiving:

Wednesday - We were hoping to leave around noon. It's a 12 hour drive back to Indiana and we figured we could make it to Harry's for a few beers if we made good time. Then Lee didn't get out of work until 3:30pm. It's going to be a late night of driving... (But, I DID get to explore the Navy liquor store while I was waiting for Lee to get off work. AWESOME. Cheap booze and no taxes. Love it!) We got in to my mom's house at around 3:30am. As I am unpacking the car, the cookies that I spent 12 hours protecting fall face first on the driveway. Ok, it looks like I'm taking crumbs to Thanksgiving dinner.

(This is my mom & her friends and me. For some reason we were all wearing white. Angelic.)

Thursday - Lee heads out to Fowler, IN for his family Thanksgiving, I head to Kokomo, IN with my mom and Grandma for our family Thanksgiving. I made the mistake of filling up on cheeseball and barely ate any turkey & stuffing. Doh! A rumor started around the family that Lee and I were having marital problems since he hadn't come to our family Thanksgiving. When we get back from Kokomo, I head up to Lee's parents in Monticello, IN. Watch some Colts football and pass out (from exhaustion, not booze, unfortunately).









(Lee & his sis & cousin.) (Jamie & me.)

Friday - Wake up. Lee's mom makes breakfast. Then we have leftovers for lunch. Then we go into my Grandma's house and have more leftovers. We head to the Nine Irish Brothers for dinner and drinks. An ex-boyfriend of mine was our waiter. Awkward. How does this always happen to me?? I mean, a guy I made out with was the waiter at our wedding rehearsal dinner. That is just bad luck on my part! Afterwards, we went to Harry's. It was not the standard townie-fest. Quite disappointing. Lee passed out early, so we had to dump him in the car before going to Brothers. It was a pretty good time, but I ended up losing my favorite fleece. (I feel like Fubar!)

(Best pic of the weekend. Lee is passed out and Jamie is getting her ass grabbed. Classic Harry's.)

Saturday - Wake up. Eat some cereal to prevent hangover. Go back to bed. Meet Bryan, Phelan & Neyer to give them Purdue/Loyola tickets. Watch them drink the equivalent of 6 beers apiece before I dropped them off at a bar across from Mackey Arena. This is going to be a train wreck. After the game, we go up to Lee's parents for yet another Thanksgiving meal. We had planned to come back into town, but I was informed by Bryan that they were already in for the night (at 8:30pm). Then I got a call from Neyer saying that HE was still out and Bryan was many different expletives. Lee and I opt NOT to go meet Neyer... One of the better decisions of my life.

(There are TONS of deer around in Indiana.)

Sunday - Wake up. Meet my mom for breakfast and get on the road. 12 hours later we are back in Norfolk feeling fat and tired. What a great weekend!

(The drive home.)

HAPPY...

Free Shipping

This morning was my commute up to McLean. This is a 3.5 hour drive and I leave at 4:30am. OUCH. But, if I leave any later, the traffic is even worse and it is more like a 4 hour drive.

Anyway, this morning on the radio they were talking about Thanksgiving and Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving). I was wondering why they called it Black Friday.

Wikipedia to the RESCUUUUE!

...the term "Black Friday" has been traced back only to the 1970's. "Black Friday" was originally so named because of the heavy traffic on that day, although most contemporary uses of the term refer instead to it as the beginning of the period in which retailers are in the black (i.e., turning a profit).

On the radio they were saying that now Monday is supposedly the biggest INTERNET shopping day of the year. Apparently people miss out on Black Friday and decide to "multi-task" on Monday. The radio peeps said to watch out for lots of online companies to offer free shipping to entice more shoppers...

Since arriving at work, I have received THREE of these "free shipping" offers:
Bed Bath & Beyond ~ Hurry! FREE Shipping on orders over $100.
Red Envelope ~ Pass the Gravy: Free Shipping Thanksgiving Week
J. Crew ~ Very Merry Gifts + FREE SHIPPING

(I like the Red Envelope one best because it mentions gravy. Mmmm.)

How long CFunk??

How long does a blog have to fester before it gets a count on Its Always Sunny In Logan Square??

I ask because Ahow at the movies is going on a month with no updates... Come on Ahow! It's not study season anymore...

As a warning to Ahow, I am going to publish this quote from him on a Thursday night WAAAaaaayyyy back on July 17th, 2003: (I discovered it going through emails today during an especially long valuation ran.)

"Count my beer and my pitchers, my shots, and my beer and pitchers and I drank three pitchers." - Ahow

Very dorky confession

Ok, so a few months ago I went to a pool party down here with Tom & Nathan. We were pretty tired because we had been boating and drinking all day AND Nathan and I didn't know anyone at the party. So, we ended up chilling in the living room where a bunch of the kids were watching Hannah Montana. I am ashamed to say that we ended up watching two back-to-back episodes even after the kids left the room. It is quite addictive!!!

For anyone that doesn't know about Hannah Montana, the premise of the show is that this girl is a secret pop star who sings under the name Hannah Montana. Her father is her manager and only a couple people know that she is secretly a singer. The rest of the world just thinks she is a normal girl. (This is because she wears a wig when she sings. Genius!)

So, what brings up my very dorky confession? The girl that plays Hannah Montana is Miley Cyrus and her real dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, plays her father on the show too. Yes, Billy Ray Cyrus is the mullet-sporting guy who sang "Achy Breaky Heart" as well as recently being on Dancing with the Stars. Well, Billy Ray has a new song out called "Ready, Set... Don't Go". It's a pretty good song. Anyway, I have heard a version on the radio now that is a duet version with his daughter Miley. So, it got me doing a little research on this whole thing and it turns out Miley is only 15 years old...
SHE DOES NOT LOOK 15!!!!!

And apparently she has already had pregnancy rumors going around about her. Insane! Hopefully she doesn't follow in the footsteps of Lindsay Lohan!

The perfect Christmas gift for Clint!

GLOBAL WARMING MUG

Sure to be a topical topic of conversation, this mug shows off the adverse effects of that annoying global warming. Just pour in a hot cup of coffee, and the ocean starts to spread across the continent as ice caps melt and water levels rise. A pleasant reminder to take care of the planet and knock down your carbon dioxide emission.

For best results:Use hot liquids or heat in microwave for one minute. May take a minute for disappearing effect to occur.
$12.00

If the Bureau of Motor Vehicles were a Hospital

Ah, the glory of Navy medical facilities!!

I made an appointment at the Navy Medical Center Portsmouth about 2 months ago. Their first opening was about 3 weeks away on October 10th. Ok, I'm glad this isn't a PRESSING appointment. October 6th rolled around, my grandpa passed away and I headed back to Indiana. Being the considerate person I am, I called to cancel my appointment and reschedule. "Our first available appointment is November 13th." UM, over a MONTH from now?? So, begrudgingly, I took it.

So, I got to the hospital for my appointment yesterday. It is treated as a naval base, so I had to show my ID and the base stickers on my car to get in. Then, the place is HUGE. There are many buildings, and the only direction that I had was to go to the 4th floor. 4TH FLOOR OF WHAT BUILDING? So, I park in the parking garage and walk into the hospital. I go to the 4th floor. "No, this isn't where you need to be. You need to go down to "blah-ology" on the 2nd foor," (I couldn't understand if they said Urology or Nuerology or some other -ology I have never heard of). So, I go to the 2nd floor and see Nuerology. NOPE! Go to Urology. Ok, on my 3rd attempt I finally get to the right place.

After talking to the doctor, I had to go get a "chit" for bloodwork on the 1st floor. The Navy is all about chit's. You get a chit when you take vacation time, you get a chit when you have an emergency and have to leave the ship, you get a chit when you are in port overseas... But, I did not know that you also needed a chit to get bloodwork done. Weird!

(Note: I just looked up what CHIT means.

Chit - One tradition carried on in the Navy is the use of the word "chit." It is a carry over from the days when Hindu traders used slips of paper called "citthi" for money, so they wouldn't have to carry heavy bags of gold and silver. British sailors shortened the word to chit and applied it to their mess vouchers. Its most outstanding use in the Navy today is for drawing pay and a form used for requesting leave and liberty, and special requests. But the term is currently applied to almost any piece of paper from a pass to an official letter requesting some privilege.)

I go down to the lab area on the 1st floor to get my bloodwork chit. I have to take a number and wait. My number is called. After some confusion I finally get the chit (our Navy healthcare often thinks that I am Lee's child instead of wife, BRILLIANT). Then I have to go to the pharmacy on the 2nd floor. Take ANOTHER number. Ok, my number is B835. Let's see what number they are on... OH, B767. SUPER! 5 minutes later, I realize not only are there B's, but there are also A's. So, I am not 68 people away from getting my prescription, I am more like 100 away.

An hour and 20 minutes later, I finally get my prescription filled. Almost didn't need it since I was suicidal at that point.

I finally get to leave the hospital at 5:30 after getting there at 2:45pm.

I got to see the 4th floor, the 2nd floor, another part of the 2nd floor, the first floor, and back up to the 2nd floor. Now that is efficient!

I see why the big saying around the Navy is "hurry up and wait".

This is why I do my own laundry...

When Lee and I first started living together, we dabbled in doing our laundry together. That did not last long. This is why:

(These are his CLEAN clothes. They will sit like this for about a week.)

This does not surprise me at all

If you have ever spent any amount of time driving down here, you know: Virginians LOVE their vanity plates!!

Absolutely EVERYONE has them. It does make car trips a little more exciting since you get to try and figure out what the heck they mean, and sometimes why in the WORLD you would want that on your license plate.

Some of my favorites that I have seen:

MTHLUVR - clearly a fellow math nerd.

PRN Rx - Lee thinks this one means "porn doctor". I think it is probably some sort of nurse. Although porn doctor is way more interesting.


I thought this one was appropriate:

Happy Veterans Day!!

So, pretty much 90% of the city of Norfolk has today off for Veteran's Day. I am part of the really sucky 10% that doesn't.


The good news is, Lee is getting the oil changed in the Jeep for me!


The bad news (besides having to work) is that I have to listen to Lee talk about how he is a vet and he will always be a vet... And I realize I am going to have to listen to this every Veteran's Day for the rest of my (or his) life.


Happy Veteran's Day vets!!


Thank you for your service!!

SO FRUSTRATED!!!

Chargers - 23
Colts - 21

Ok, so probably everyone heard about or watched the Colt's loss last night. Horrible. The score makes it look better than it actually was. The blame goes across the team, though, in my opinion:

The special teams. Allowing Sproles to return one kickoff and one punt for touchdowns. He did look like a speeding little bullet, but come on. Stop that guy!

Peyton... Peyton... Peyton... I hate it when I see him throw a couple interceptions because it seems to mean there are a couple more right around the corner. He gets discouraged and it is hard for him to get back on track. Last night is painful proof of that. SIX interecptions.

Vinitieri missing two field goals. One of them was only a 29-yard field goal!!

I know that there are a lot of excuses that can be thrown around about injuries and whatnot, but I just want to see them get back on track FAST. They are a better team than this.

"We don't use injuries as an excuse, but we still had a chance to win the game," Manning said. "We have no choice but to refocus. … To lose two in a row is disappointing. Getting a win is the best remedy for a two-game losing streak."

WONDERFUL new blogs

This weekend there has been a couple exciting additions to the blogging world:

Early Saturday morning after a night at the bar, Amos and I decided to create a blog for him. He has some pretty odd thoughts rolling around in his head. I'm glad he has a place that he can let them all out now. (You may have read about Amos in a blog below where we were building the beer-a-mid.)

And the much anticipated Fubar blog is FINALLY a reality. This blog is already hilarious and there are only 3 posts.

Welcome Amos & Fubar!! And happy blogging!!

One of the funniest forwards I've seen in awhile:

Got this from my aunt. Wow! Makes me glad I was born in the 80's. (Yes, that's right Plothow, the 80's.)

Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this: A JC Penney catalog from 1977.

It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:

Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:

There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes. The clothes are fantastic.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:

Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school:

This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get y our ass kicked on the golf course:

This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent. Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:

If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:

He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:

If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St . Patrick's Day:

Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one,

Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.As does your search for chest hair.

And this

-- Seriously. No words.Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are W... T.. F... I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike.

These couples look happy, don't they?

I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."

And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits.

That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fits against that fabric."

Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:

I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:

Man, that's sexy.

CSI: Miami ~ Horatio isn't the only thing over the top anymore!

I have been watching CSI: Miami pretty much since it started. It has never been in my "top tier" of shows, but it is one that I usually find time to watch. This season, that has not been the case. Since finally living with Lee (and only having one tv!), I have had to watch more shows that we agree on and therefore, CSI: Miami has been taking a backseat to more important shows of mine like The Biggest Loser and any college football game that might be taking place in the entire country that Lee wants to watch.

I finally have had the time to catch up on an episode or two, and it turns out the show is getting loopy. Now, I have only missed about three, four episodes at the most.

On the first show I watched, Delko was hallucinating his former (dead) partner, Speed. So... This show is turning into a full blown soap opera where dead characters come back to life? Delko is going crazy? They realized that Speed pulled in a lot more ratings than that annoying Ryan Wolfe???

Now, on the show that I watched last night, Horation has a son and he's in prison. Where the heck did this son come from? I am so baffled. Also, the son looks like he is about 12 years old, yet he seems to be in a federal-reserve-pound-me-in-the-***-prison. Doesn't seem too likely. Anyway, Horatio has some big black dude watching out for his son in prison.

Also, Tripp is now wearing a police uniform and he's totally bald?? Why is he a normal cop now instead of one of the boss detectives?

And finally, how in the HECK did all of this stuff happen in the three short episodes that I may have missed?

N-Ville!!

A

Good

Time

Was

Had

By

All!!!

Seriously...

Sometimes I believe forced sterilization may be the route to go.

This article is what I am referring to:

According to Tracy Hawkins in her statement to Lauderhill police, she handed the boy over to an acquaintance at the bus depot in the parking lot of the Lauderhill Mall. She told police that she needed a few days of relief from childcare and gave Tyvon to a friend to watch for the weekend.
Several weeks later, she said she ran into the friend and asked about her baby, saying she wanted him back. That's when, Hawkins said, the friend claimed to have handed the baby over to the state.

Ok, so you want a babsitter for the weekend. But then, you don't ask about the kid again until you run into the babysitter a few weeks later???? This glowing quote from her boyfriend really puts it all in perspective though:

"She feel real bad about it," he said. "How a mother feel about their kid."

I don't know, I think a mother is supposed to NOT dump her kid on some random acquaintance at a bus stop. Then she is also supposed to NOT forget about him for a few weeks.

I just really worry where this 1 year-old boy is right now. And hopefully, if he is found, he is NOT returned to his mother.