How I Met Your - NEW - Mother(s)

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Let me preface this by saying that I don't keep up with celebrity gossip at all!

Lee and I noticed a few weeks ago that Lily on "How I Met Your Mother" always had something in front of her stomach. It was the episode where Marshall was coaching the kindergarten basketball team and she always had a guitar or a basketball or a shelf of basketballs in front of her. Lee was like "She's totally prego." Then, she was totally missing from a couple episodes.

This week, Lee made the same comment about Robin. I was like "No, it was LILY that was pregnant." But, sure enough, Robin was hiding her stomach too.

Turns out, they're both preggers! A HIMYM baby boom! Actually, I think both of them may have had their babies by now. I couldn't find it anywhere online, but I know "Lily" was due March 24th and "Robin" was due 2 months later.

At least we know none of the other main characters can get pregnant!

TBL - Final Fo'

In the words of Jess: "HOW IN THE NAME OF SWEET JESUS DID RON MAKE IT TO THE FREAKING END??? Dear lord."

Definitely sums things up.

I thought this episode was a bit boring, really. It was a lot of the "celebrate how far we've come" kind of crap. Yeah, you used to be huge. That's why you're on the Biggest Loser. And you've lost a lot of weight. That's why you're STILL on the Biggest Loser.

Ok, crankiness aside:

* Bob saw right through Ron's BS about last week's vote. He knows Mike hardly ever comes up with his own ideas. Obviously Ron influenced him to take out Kristin.

* They watched a movie recap of their first week on the ranch. Then went through the workout they had done only faster, with more weight, MORE EXTREME. Ali also told them this was their last week on the ranch. They all seemed shocked. Yes, you go home. You haven't moved to the ranch.

* Tara & Helen decide to try on their "goal" outfits. Tara's is a little black dress. You can tell she bought this quite a few years ago. Helen's outfit looks like she is ready to hop on the back of a Harley. She did look pretty decent in it though. They go show the guys and Mike goes and puts on his "super slick" leather jacket. Isn't he in college now? Not 10 years ago?

* The contestants go to Dr. Creepy's office. All of them have gotten healthier. Duh.

* For the challenge, they had to run up 16 sand hills carrying the weight they had lost and dropping some of it on each hill. Tara followed her normal "formula". "Oh I can't do this... Hey I'm in a groove... I catch Filipe... I win. Oh my!" Tara gets her choice between 1lb and $10k. Whoever comes in 2nd gets whatever she doesn't take.

* For their last chance workout, they started out by "training the trainer". The only interesting part here was that I thought Jillian's boobs were going to flop out of her shirt.

* At the weigh-in, Tara takes the 1lb so Mike gets the $10k. I guess Tara doesn't need 2 more months of rent. ($10k = 2 months rent? NY sucks!)

* Everyone pulls amazing numbers at the weigh-in. You know, every week they say they give it their all, blah blah blah. But, when it is an important week like this, suddenly they all step it up about 5 notches. So, what are they doing the other weeks when they claim to be going all out?

* Ron & Filipe fall below the yellow line even with their HUGE weight loss.

* The power falls to Helen & Tara to decide between the two. In the end, they send Filipe packing. He complains about them voting him out because he is a bigger threat. Yeah yeah, that seems to be the trend. If you think it's bad here, you should flip the channel and check out Survivor this season! Wow!

Reuter has done some TBL math over on his blog. Basically, the writing on the HP-12C says that Mike has this thing in the bag.

Lee thought last night that Ron should have tried to go home. That way he could try to win the at-home prize and leave Mike to win the real prize. But, it looks like he knows he can't win the at-home prize so he is just trying to give Mike less competition in the final showdown. And I still can't believe that he is in the final four. Mind boggling!

Next week, we see how they handle the Final Four!

Tara-Hater

Yes, it is no secret... I do not like Tara.

I have been getting a lot of comments about my "Tara hating". Clint has mentioned it, Fubar, and Craig even said my Tara bashing was unbecoming of me. Yeah, well, I'd be unbecoming on me too if... Wait. What? I slipped into a pickup line there for a second.

Here are my top 5 reasons that Tara SUX.

5. Used to flirt with Dane & Blaine ~ This is what first made me not like Tara. She would always flirt with Dane & Blaine. She had a meltdown whe each of them went home and acted like her life was over. Keep your chubby hands to yourself Tara. These are married men with a bunch of kids.

4. Cocky ~ Yes, Tara has earned the right to be proud of her accomplishments. She has dominated the challenges like no one I've ever seen. But, it also gets rather old to watch her win. It is the same formula every week: 1) the "Oh, I can't win this challenge" whine; 2) the slow start; 3) the "Hey maybe I can do this" phase; 4) she wins and gloats. It would be one thing if she just started off each time acting like she had a shot at winning instead of acting like she didn't have a shot. And taking the $10k prize was another act of cockiness. Yes, she pulled it off, but in a game where that 1 pound could have saved someone else from falling under the yellow line, it just seems wrong to take the $10k.

3. Cries all the time ~ This really annoys me. It would be higher on the list, but I can't hold it only against Tara since so many of the contestants cry all the time. Had she not seen the show before coming on here? Did she not realize that it was a competition? That people would be sent home? That she might end up without her partner on the ranch? She cries because people view her as a target (hello, why wouldn't they?). She cries because everyone gives her extra weight in the challenge. She cries over losing her partner (who, half the time she complained about) (AND she was one of two teams left intact, everyone else had already lost their partner). I'm just not sure why she has so much to cry about. She is doing awesome. She is losing tons of weight. She is going to look really good at the finale. Why all the waterworks?

2. Almost quit like 10 times ~ I hate when Tara always throws in the towel. She does it in workouts. She does it when she feels like people are ganging up on her. She did it when Blaine or Dane went home (I still don't know which is which). She wanted to quit the game after everyone gave her weight in that car challenge and looked what happened... She won. It is such a glimpse into how she got fat in the first place.

1. Playing the victim ~ Tara acts like everything is a personal travesty. People gang up on her. People think she is a threat. They voted her gimp partner out. She never even thought "Man, poor Laura has a stress fracture," it was all "Poor me, I'm here alone now." JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT MIKE & RON.

I definitely take nothing away from Tara as being one of the strongest players the game has ever seen. I just can't take her personality. So, am I a Tara-hater? Yes I am. And I wear the title proudly.

Senior-itis

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Weekend:
* Friday night we hung around home and watched "Henry Poole is Here". Not the greatest movie ever, but it was ok.
* Saturday morning we went to Lee's parents' house. He has been doing some work for them. He was painting and doing some other work on their master bathroom and painting a wall in their bedroom. He also has work lined up at his grandma's house (tiling two bathrooms and possibly the kitchen/dining area) and at my mom's house (tiling the kitchen, fixing up the fireplace and possibly tiling the laundry room/porch).
* Saturday evening we spent at my mom's house. Got some Arni's pizza. YUM!
* Sunday was our final baby shower.

Shower:

It was over in Kokomo and was a small family thing. It was a couples' shower, so there were dudes there. And booze. My favorite part was the brownies. OMG, I wish I could tell you I didn't eat 3 of them.

My mom had some games to play. One was a standard shower game of what is the "baby" of this animal called. My uncle got an impressive 20 out of 32 right. I was really expecting Lee or his parents to win with their farm background. I did not do well... Example: What's a baby fish? I wrote "Caviar". That was not correct...

Another game was "How big is Lauren's belly?" Just what every 9 month prego chick wants to think about. Fortunately, we didn't use numerical guesses. They took a ball of yarn around and had each person cut out the length of yarn they thought would fit around my stomach. Most people overshot it. I guess I look bigger than I actually am. Great. My uncle Mike was by far the FURTHEST from winning. His piece of yarn was seriously about 6'4" long. Not a compliment. He asked how old the baby would be before I forgave him. I'm thinking she'll be driving. Shockingly, my cousin's boyfriend who I had never met was RIGHT ON. He did better than I think I would have done. Amazing. That guy really knows his pregnant chicks! 2nd place went to my grandma who was just a couple inches off.

The last game was for the guys. They had to chug a beer out of a baby bottle. Turns out this is WAY hard. Most the beer ended up on their shirts. Lee's dad ended up cheating and just opening the bottle. I think if this game is ever played again, we might want to use sippy cups instead...

For gifts, we got a lot of clothes, an umbrella stroller that matches our car (JEEP!), some Purdue gear, and a highchair. Good stuff!

Work:

I am commuting into the office Tues/Thurs of this week... And then I am just working from home until maternity leave. I'm very happy that I won't be going into the city anymore. The commute sucks, but more importantly, I'm scared to go into labor in Chicago. No car, my hospital is 1.5 hours away, no cab is going to drive me to Crown Point, it would take Lee about 3 hours to pick me up and take me to the hospital... The options just aren't pretty.

I have 3 client projects left to work on, then 2 more clients that I need to transition to other people. It is plenty of work, but I really just can't concentrate at all. I have total senior-itis. The weather is getting nice, I'm about to explode with baby, and maternity leave is in sight! Hopefully I can keep my head on long enough to get this client work out of the way!

Next weekend:
The only thing on my agenda for next weekend is the big hair cut. I can't wait!

Lauren's Latest Country Music

5. "Shuttin' Detroit Down" - John Rich
A country song that mentions pension plans. Awesome! This song is about the bailouts, economy, and all the other fun stuff going on these days.

4. "Then" - Brad Paisley
Another mushy love song from Brad Paisley. Could be the hormones talking, but it's sweet.

3. "High Cost of Living" - Jamey Johnson
This guy has been making some great music. His song "In Color" is just amazing. This one is a bit of a downer song. Basically, it's about a guy's life going down the drain due to drugs. "The high cost of living ain't nothing like the cost of living high."

2. "One in Every Crowd" - Montgomery Gentry
A lot more upbeat than the first 3 songs on the list... This one is about "that guy" that always makes it a party whenever he shows up at the bar. I've known a few of these people.

1. "People are Crazy" - Billy Currington
God is great... Beer is good... And people are crazy. Pretty much sums it up!

Survivor's "Coach"

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Last night, Lee and I finally caught up on Survivor. We had missed last week's episode. In case you haven't been watching, there is a contestant that calls himself "Coach". He is the most bizarre person I have ever seen on the show, and that is saying a lot!

Coach is a women's soccer coach for the Southwest Baptist University in Missouri. He is also an artistic director and conductor of a California symphony orchestra. He used to travel the world playing the trumpet and set the world record for the longest solo kayak expedition on the ocean (6,132 miles).

But, on the show, Coach is mainly just a weirdo. He says strange things, tells weird stories, does warrior poses alone on the beach. He has started calling himself the dragon slayer. Last night, when Steven was sent to exile island, Coach's parting words were "Be the wizard". WTF?

Last Thursday, Coach told a story that he had only told 3 other people in his life. And apparently, now, he chose to share it with all of America. Here is a link to the video of it. It is a bit long, but worth every minute of it.

His story starts with him being dropped off by a military chopper near the Peruvian border. He is kayaking down the Amazon River. Some indigenous tribe members attack him and tie him to a post and beat him. At one point, they are planning to eat his a$$hole (WHAT?!?). He somehow escapes. The entire tribe is sitting there listening to this story. I'm not sure how they were keeping a straight face. At the end of it all, Brandon goes "So, how much did it cost to get flown in by military chopper?" It was free, Coach pulled some strings. Then, he elaborates to say that National Geographic had wanted to come with him on his trip, but he turned them down because the trip was just all about him.

Coach also claims to practice an ancient form of Chinese martial arts. But you can't Google it because it is only passed down verbally. Convenient.

At tribal counsel, Coach mentions that he has had near-death encounters six different times. The host, Jeff, asks him to list some of them. Hurricane, shark, alligator... The indigenous Peruvians didn't even make the short list?

However, I just found this on the Survivor website:
Wade has also been attacked by a tiger shark, stalked by a jaguar in the Amazon and has been bitten by a piranha on his right hand.

Perhaps more of his stories are true than I once thought! The website also had a full page of "Coach videos". Check it out!

TBL - Can I cheer for them all to lose?

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Reuter has a blog talking about the challenge on last night's show and the "drama" about the contestants' nutrition knowledge (or lack thereof). Check it out.

As usual, I missed the first part of TBL, so going from Lee's recap, all I missed was:

Tara crying

Kristin crying

Oh darn. He said that Tara was crying and blaming Jillian because she told Mike to vote Laura off. Tara was upset that she was vulnerable without a partner. Ok, so the truth comes out. It's not that you give a rats ass about your partner. You just care about yourself. And, um, newsflash Tara, look around. There is only one team intact on the ranch. She loves to play the victim.

A woman from Good Housekeeping came to the ranch and gave contestants a quiz about nutrition. Mike & Kristin ended up tying. Mike won the tie-breaker by guessing the calories of a fast food fish sandwich within FIVE calories. That is good! This sparked Bob to realize that his team might not know enough about nutrition, so he forced them to do a video food diary for a day. It was pretty appalling. (See Reuter's rant.) They did not eat nearly enough for the workouts that they are doing on the ranch. The worst part, in my opinion, is for dinner they had one piece of fish that was like 7.5 oz. They split that for THREE people. Um, I would totally eat that myself. Bob was FLIPPING OUT.

The challenge was for $10k or a 1-lb advantage at the weigh-in. (See Reuter's blog again!) They had to hang in a cage type thing where they were holding a rope that supported their weight. They were all freaking out about the heights. Seriously, come on. TBL isn't going to let you die. That would be horrible for their insurance. You know you're all wrapped up and supported. After watching so many seasons of TBL, it seems that a strange number of fat people are scared of heights. Is there a correlation? Is it a "bigger-you-are, harder-you-fall" mentality? At any rate, Mike dropped out right away because of his fear of heights. Filipe was shaking the crane holding them up and pissing all the girls off. It came down to Helen and Tara. Helen was trying to bribe Tara into splitting the money. Tara said she wasn't playing for the money... Helen ended up losing and surprise surprise Tara wins again. Vomit.

During the last chance workout, Jillian tried to have a "break through" moment with Mike about his pent up anger. She made him talk to his dad. He confronted Ron about being ginormous and allowing his sons to do the same thing. Ron fully took the blame. We did discover the mystery of the skinny wife. No, it isn't that Ron used to be skinny. It isn't that he has money. It is that his skinny wife used to be fat herself. What I don't understand is how she made the life change to get thin (and she is really thin) without trying to make a difference in the way the rest of her family was eating.

Weigh-in time. At the beginning of the weigh-in, Tara announces that she is taking the money instead of the pound. People are pretty surprised. This totally goes against what she said to Helen during the challenge. I secretly hope that it puts her under the yellow line. Unfortunately, it doesn't. She loses 5lbs. Ron goes below 300lbs for the first time since his early teens. Wow. It is amazing that he is close to 300lbs and this is SKINNY for him. Towards the end of the weigh-in, it looked like it might be Filipe and Helen under the yellow line. Unfortunately, Kristin GAINED a pound (nutrition, hello?) putting herself below the yellow line for the 2nd week in a row. And this week, she isn't going against a gimp.

Kristin pulled Ron aside to ask if she had his vote. He had made a promise to her mom long ago that he would do whatever he could to help Kristin get to the finale. Ron promised his vote and said that he would talk to Mike on her behalf. Well, he did. But, he basically told Mike that Kristin was his biggest competition and he should vote her off. Very two-faced. Not surprising at all, though, for Ron.

So, Kristin got voted out. After that happened, Ron said something along the lines of "My son WILL WIN." Then Mike basically echoed it. It sounded SO cocky and you could just SEE the other players wanting to vomit.

Kristin was shown at home 2 months later giving a speech. She had only lost 7 more lbs since leaving the ranch. She really needs to get on the ball if she wants to win the at-home Biggest Loser! Better yet, a treadmill.

Now, with Kristin gone and Mike getting all cocky, I have NO idea who to cheer for. Helen sent her daughter home. Plus, she just doesn't have a chance. She weighs too little. Filipe is annoying. Tara makes me want to punch her regularly and Ron... Well, you've heard my rants about Ron! I guess my only option is to ignore the actual competition and just focus on the at-home competition. Grrr!

36 weeks... Is it over yet?

The one good thing I have found about this ginormous belly is what a great shelf it makes. I can set a bowl of cereal on top of the belly and use both hands to type while I eat breakfast in the morning. It is a very stable surface. Truly, handy.

That being said, once the baby decides to make her appearance, I hope the belly makes its exit in a timely fashion. (I have a 10 year reunion in September people.) I can learn to live without my cereal shelf. Really, I can.

First Great-Grandchild of the Family

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Yesterday, my grandma became a great-grandma!

My cousin Anna and her husband Nick had this little bundle of joy.

(Pictured with Aunt Jamie.)

Layla Lucille 7lbs 12oz, 22in

For some reason, this is all mind boggling to me. My cousin is a mom. My aunt is a grandma. My mom is a great-aunt. My grandma is a great-grandma. It's like everyone just got a lot older all in one day!

Family trees. They amaze me.

Look familiar?

Today, this pic was posted on ROCK on the CTA.

Is it just me, or does that woman look strangely familiar...

Perhaps a bit like THIS woman....
Oh, the scary woman at Canterbury Court. I hadn't thought of you in so long.